A Slice of from this week...

Just because... some days are harder than others.

Some days I'm not 100%.

Or even 78%.

Some days I submit to the relentless questions and arguing and whining.

And some days I yell.

Some days I want to stomp and hold my own tantrum.

And some days are better.

The sun seems brighter.

Seventh graders seem funnier.

Or helpless.

Some days I can push up to 93%.

And some days I laugh.

Some days I want to repeat once again.

Here's a snippet from this week...

...thanks to the "Spin It to Win It" contest between classes.

My Writing

My blog's name is due to me wanting to share my own learning with others. When I was on Twitter, I would share the link with educators. It got a lot of visits, some comments, some questions, and we kept the conversations going. Sometimes I would write to document what I've learned or to document my thoughts or to document a great or terrible day - mostly about education. "My Own Genius Hour" meant my own learning - about teaching and life - a place to reflect publicly.

I was once again inspired to write by the #SOL - Slice of Life - community when the new year rolled around. I am a huge reader, but I could use the nudge to write. Now that we're more than half-way through May (OMG my MIND this past week!!) March, and many #SOL writers are writing every day for the March challenge, I knew I wouldn't keep up. Many (most?) in this community are retired teachers who've been doing the #SOL on Tuesdays for years. It's not my jam right now.

So instead, I collected photos of what I wanted to write about for Tuesdays. Stories from my time with Duolingo and how it helps me learn and also frustrates me with its challenges/games/XPs... The flowers popping up way too early... State testing and how it absolutely sucks the life out of everyone...

  

My problem today is that those are not authentic writing for me. I don't want to write just because it's Tuesday or just because others are sharing their writing on Tuesdays. I don't want to take on someone else's challenge - I have enough challenges right now at work and at home. 

I want to write when it's important to me. Some days I want to write in my gratitude journal. Some days I want to write to my "inner thoughts" (inspired by the book Tiny Beautiful Things) in my "daily chirp" journal.  Some days I want to write lists. And some days I want to document things here (like this thinking) or share ideas here (for teachers who are still following this blog even if I can't tweet it out anymore). I may even have a student reading these posts, and I'd like that young writer to know I'm human. :)

So today... I suppose I'm writing a goodbye letter of sorts - to the #SOL crew. I won't post it in their comments section, because they've got lots of other great posts they can read through, enjoy, and comment on. This post is to document. This post is for my own reflection. My learning journey - which is what "My Own Genius Hour" means to me.

My learning changes throughout the years, thankfully, so I may come back to that community - or find another one - or maybe even an in-person one once I retire. As long as this blog truly represents me as a person, I'll continue using it as one of my writing avenues.

Broken Light Fixtures Shine Brighter

I got out of the shower and noticed that the glass in one of our bathroom lights was broken. (I didn't get a photo, but it was jagged and tilted so we threw it out.) I was worried it had happened on its own in the middle of the night while we slept, so I was happy when Hubby said he knocked into it yesterday somehow, but he didn't notice it had broken.

So... we threw out the glass, knowing we'll either find a replacement or replace the entire fixture. No biggie. Just some time and effort. No one is hurt, and the room is a bit brighter.

I thought the light would be blinding without the frosted glass, but it's not. It's really nice, actually. I love a lot of light, and I'm glad we've got this while we search for a new one. I immediately thought... I've got an idea for the #SOL this week, as I've seen this before in my life. The broken light shines brighter...

Just this past week, when I gave my presentation about shifting away from stress, I shared how "broken" I was during pandemic teaching. How I cried every day during school and every night at home through all of September of 2020, and many days and nights following during that horrendous school year. And I shared that I am much stronger now. I feel that, when I'm able to give my full attention to the people I'm around each day like I've been practicing, my "light" is stronger now.

I've jumped on Instagram again recently, and an old Twitter friend from 2014 showed up in my replies. She's been absent from my life for at least eight years. She shared that she'd gotten married and then in 2021 her husband took his life by suicide. I started following her right away, and it looks like now she shares about mental health and strategies to overcome depression. She is no longer quiet and not sharing on Instagram - she's shining brighter. Her light is stronger for all to see.

Nobody's life is perfect. We all have our ups and downs / highs and lows. If we stop during the lows to evaluate what is happening and how we're reacting, we can learn from those challenging times. We can grow from them. A former student of mine, Jake Lavin, shared with our school (years later as he shared about his Happiness Project) an analogy about a grape... 

Imagine you're a grape, growing beautifully on the vine, reaching for the sun, ripening right on time, when someone plucks you and some friends off the vine. You get dropped on the ground. It's darker there, but you've still got some old friends with you - until you get stepped on. Now you're really in the dirt, and you look nothing like your old self. No one will want you now. Your life, as you know it, is over. You are pushed down further the more you get stepped on. Eventually, you're covered with dirt, fall leaves and debris, snow over that, and you're really in a dark, wet, nasty place. You never see the sun anymore. You never feel the wind or the rain. You're there for months, thinking life couldn't get any worse. When suddenly... you begin to sprout new life. You eventually become your own vine, reaching for the sky, emerging out of the dirt, up the trellis, and you grow even more grapes...

He did a much better job of explaining it! 

I'll try ending with a poem, as many #SOL writers have modeled doing so...

A misstep leads to a

Broken frosted pane we take down due to its sharp edges and 

Light beams blast from the 

Fixture upon the wall - no more sheltering of the light that now 

Shines farther than it did before... signaling 

Brighter days are ahead - for me and for those that can be reached by this light.

Interesting... I ended up writing that backwards...

When is a time you've been "broken" and have come back "brighter"?

Head over to Two Writing Teachers for more slice of life stories.

Spin It to Win It Show & Tell

I love getting ideas from teachers on TikTok.

The Spin It to Win It idea is from Monica Genta (@monicagentaed), and I explain it to my students in this video. Monica's podcast is here.

My last class - who has figured out how a few things that helped them win the monthly contest this month - chose "show and tell" for their reward. We dedicated 20 of our 80 minutes to the end of class Friday for this event. I had no idea who would want to show something, and I was pleasantly surprised at how it went!

One of my (mostly) quiet students shared some awards/ribbons for robotics and karate - I could tell he was proud, and many students were impressed.

Three of my social students (sort of) got a routine together, along with snazzy hats and music coming from a stuffed monkey, and then they did a "fit check." EVERY student in class was smiling and/or giggling. How fun, and how great they were able to enjoy the spotlight!

And then... "The beast" showed up... One parent dropped off their son's bearded dragon, Dino, and he stole the show. Luckily for me, the beast doesn't walk fast, has no fur, didn't poop (I hear it's terribly stinky), and was able to be kept in a shoebox until the end of the next period.

If I were able to share students' smiles, I would - I think we all enjoyed those precious 20 minutes. I don't think Dino would mind being in this post, so...

Head over to Two Writing Teachers for more slice of life stories.

Why would I want more stress?

I moved my apps around on my phone on January 1, trying to not play so many pointless games. I'll still do the Wordle and Connections game with my husband every night, and I still do three small exercises on my Elevate app, but the Blockudoku, Fishdom and Puzzledom are largely based on luck of what pieces come up next. I was still playing Nonogram and Sudoku for a bit, but even those became easy for me. So I relocated them all together in one bundle of apps and labeled it "WRITE INSTEAD." And here I am!

Sadly, I'm still looking for a better game. One that helps me learn or helps me become more intelligent somehow. I'm still on TikTok about once a day, and here was an ad for a game that popped up on my feed:

The two pics are the same game. (The videos came one after the other.) As I'm preparing to share "Shifting Away from Stress" at IDEACon in February, I wonder... isn't this game causing more stress? Shouldn't we be "playing" games instead of stressing ourselves out? Why would you want to play something that gives you anxiety? What a terrible advertisement.

So... the apps I used the most this month on my phone are Duolingo, Babbel, Calm, and, of course, TikTok - but I have a time limit on that one. 😉 I have my family and friends, my walks, my books, my journals, and my blog for when I know I need to be off my phone. Here's to more of this in 2024!

Head over to Two Writing Teachers for more slice of life stories.

The Only Thing I Can Control...

I've been reading at least one "self-help" type book a month since the fall of 2020. I've been trying to apply the myriad lessons to my teaching life. I keep thinking I've simplified them, to make them easier to remember, but none have really stuck with me... yet.

This week, this is my focus: 

         I will not let a 12-year-old's words or actions dictate what I say or how I act.

I re-read a blog post from George Couros, and the line that got to me was, "Never let an 8-year-old ruin your day." Yup. And how do they ruin my day? I LET them.

You might think this is common sense. If so, you've probably never taught middle schoolers. If you've taught them, you KNOW how difficult it can be to snap at them, to yell, to grit your teeth and say something that you'll probably regret later. Only to feel like crap afterwards, knowing you weren't your best self. The pot can only hold so much steam before it blows, and 12-year-olds know how to push all your buttons. So this is my goal this week: to not let a 12-year old's words or actions dictate what I say or how I act. The ONLY thing I can control is what I think. (I'm learning this from reading about and trying to practice Stoicism.) The next thing I can (usually) control is how I act.

I still have my "pause button," and I'm going to use it.

Here's a snippet of how I did during one instance in one class yesterday... 

     We'd been reading quietly (a slice of Heaven for me), and one student had been "in the bathroom" for ten minutes. When he returned, he shouted, "Mrs. Kirr! I was walking down the hall and some boy called me Black!" Many of the kids laughed. He loves to get people laughing.

     I closed my eyes. I took a breath. I looked at him. I said quietly, "If you'd like to report this, you may head to the office. If not, you may sit down and read quietly."

     "But Mrs. Kirr! I am NOT Black! I don't like that he called me that!"

     I repeated quietly, "If you'd like to report this, you may head to the office. If not, you may sit down and read quietly."

     I don't know how many times I repeated this. Maybe two more times? When I shifted to go get a yellow sticky note as a warning (before writing this incident in a form we've been using - see this post), he went to sit down. The rest of the kids got back to reading. I felt proud of myself.

And today...

     Once again, we'd been reading quietly (a slice of Heaven for me), and one student was tickling another student. The other student laughed, or I wouldn't have even noticed. I quietly told him to get back to his seat. "But I thought it was free seating today! Why do I have to go back to my seat! I didn't do anything! I'm reading, Mrs. Kirr!" I quietly pointed to his chair. "It's not fair! I wasn't doing anything! Why doesn't anyone else have to move! It's not fair!" I quietly pointed to his chair. 

     When he finally went to his chair, I whispered, "I'll answer your question now that you're here. You were tickling ___ and we're supposed to be reading."

     "I wasn't tickling him! I was getting something off his neck!" he "whispered" back.

     I quietly responded with, "And you were supposed to be reading." And then I walked away with my book. After a few more huffs and puffs, he opened his own book.

I don't like getting riled up by an outright lie or a made-up story.

I know I can't win an argument with a 12-year-old.
I like how I feel when I stay calm and simply repeat myself.

I like how these instances are over fairly quickly, and I feel like they're small but mighty "wins."

I hope this lesson will stick with me.

Head over to Two Writing Teachers for more slice of life stories.

Slice of Life - Sledding

I've never sledded (or is it just "sled" ??)  down a hill before. Hubby and I realized this about a month or so ago. Last night, he gave me an early birthday present - a red sled!! 

We're heading to a hill today after eLearning ends (around 1pm). I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm a bit frightened! I know I'll be fine, and I'm looking forward to it. 

I'll add a photo of my not-quite-51-year-old self (on a sled!) later today. For now, it sits in the dining room... waiting for me to pull it up its first hill.

UPDATE 1/18...

We FINALLY got to the hill today - ON my birthday!!

I screamed, each ice bump hit my butt, I got snow up my pants when I first put my legs out, I fell off a couple of times, and screamed a bit... The hill was pure ice - Hubby says it'll be better once we get more snow. The hardest part was getting down on the sled! LOVED it. I love that Hubby gave me this experience, and we'll definitely do it again!

Head over to Two Writing Teachers for more slice of life stories.

My One Word for 2024

I typed the title wrong just now... I used "2023" instead of "2024..." Then I looked back on my previous posts and realized I didn't change my word last year (I kept "present" for the past two years), but I'm writing this to work out what my new word will be this year. "Present" worked pretty well, and I'm ready for a change.

I saw three blog posts in my Feedly this morning that tackled the "one word" idea. 

     Claim Your Greatness - Why #OneWord Will Define Your Year from Andy Milne

     One Word, One Wish from Sheri Edwards

     It's Tuesday! Join Us for Slice of Life! #SOL24 from Jenna Komarin (Two Writing Teachers) 

          (The comments are FULL of #OneWord posts!)

And I've received the seven days of "how to" from Jon Gordon (signed up through an email - here's his book on it I haven't read).

So this is my first #SOL24 Slice of Life post!

Disclaimer: I've read how to create a word for the year, and yet I've only followed the steps when it comes to doing this in class with my students. And that's AFTER I've already chosen a word. I choose it based on how it sounds, how it feels in my mouth, and what it does to my brain and heart. I've learned I like consistency, as I noticed I'd had the word "gratitude" from 2014-2022!! My life is full of gratitude - it helps me in so many ways, and I checked it out in my posts - I write about gratitude OFTEN! Practicing gratitude is a huge part of my thinking.

I've read so many "self-help" and focus and attention books the last few years. I've focused on being present and in the moment for two years now, but the word "present" itself doesn't do as much for me as maybe "listen" or "breathe" or "attention" ?? could now. I collect quotes from books (they're all here), and from one of the last books I read, I saved this one: 

I'm not a big fan of the word "attention" by itself, as it sounds... military to me. But attention is what I want to give. I want to give love in the form of attention. I want to give it to others by being fully present in the moment. I also want to give it to myself by noticing all I'm grateful for in each moment, and noticing where my attention is (or is going!), so I can work on keeping it in each moment.

Two things help me pay better attention - breathing a couple of deep breaths (sometimes even just one helps bring be back!), and listening fully. I'm not sure if it was during one of my mindfulness sessions (with the Calm app), or if it was something I was reading about Stoicism, but something had me think about the sun. The sun gives and gives, and it never asks, "What can you do for me?" This made me think about the act of giving attention - giving that consistent and unconditional love. I've been toying with the idea of a tattoo (but OUCH?!), and so I've been drawing a sunset on the inside of my right wrist for a few days now. 

Not just a sun - to remind me to give attention without expecting anything in return - but a sunset - to remind me of something my nephew once said to us as we were in awe at the sunset in Holland, MI, "This happens every day." It's consistent. And also to remind me that now I'm kind of (sort of? actually?) in my own sunset years. My life is at least half-way through, and what will I do now? How should I live my life right?

But "sun" doesn't work for me, and neither does "sunset." They are nouns, not actions.

So....... I look up "sun." It's at the center of our solar system. That brings me to "center" - which is what I try to do to myself to ground myself when I'm upset or shaken by something. I center myself. And I'm noticing more and more what's in my center of control - my thoughts and my voluntary actions... but "center" sounds too... ego-driven. I read more about the sun... "energy," "heat," "radiation," "light," "life," "elements" ...  It's mass consists of a lot of gas... ;) And it formed from the "gravitational collapse of matter," which reminds me of how our challenges change us.

What about "radiate"? Can an adjective like "consistent" work? Not for me. I might want to change further, and "consistent" won't help me accept change, unless I think of it for how I should act in the face of change... consistent with the behaviors that help me stay in the moment? I want to go back to providing my attention as an act of love. I want to stop, breathe, listen, and give love through my attention to the people around me and the present moment.

So... I went for a walk in the middle of writing this blog post.

Words that came into my mind: shine, notice, accept, recognize, appreciate, quiet, pause, observe... To me, "shine" means positivity, and I can't act positive all the time - some people are put off by that. I thought of "shine" meaning to "radiate" or "share," but that won't work for me. "Recognize" means what, really? To "know again?" I can "notice" and not always "recognize" or "accept," and that's plenty okay. I think it's important to notice without judgement, so "notice" is my favorite right now. I said "Happy New Year" to someone on my walk, and they didn't respond, so I said it back to myself... immediately I thought of the word "quiet." Like, really, Joy, just shut up. My snarky reaction was to say it back to myself? I was judging, that's for sure. But "quiet" to me is not as good as "listen," and I've already taken that out of the mix for this year. I like "pause," but I like "breathe" and "notice" better. As for "observe," to me it has a negative connotation - only because of classroom observations. Observing is great. Noticing... better (in my opinion).

Yup. I'm going to go with "notice" for this year's #OneWord. I'm going to pause, breathe, and notice the sights, sounds, smells, what my body is doing (heart rate, breathing, tense or not), what other people look like or are saying or how they're acting... and then I can decide how best to act. During a startling or angering moment, I'll take this break, notice what I can, and then be my best self. I'll notice that the sun comes up each day (even if it's hidden behind the clouds) and sets somewhere in a beautiful way each evening. I'll notice the constant heat and warmth it provides - without asking anything of me. I'll notice what I'm giving my attention to and redirect it if it's not beneficial to myself or others.

Here's a snapshot of the point in my walk when I realized I wanted my word to be "notice." I heard a squirrel eating, birds chirping, wind rustling through the weeds. I was noticing the steam above the water, the reflection of the trees and sun, and I was looking for the hawk I'd seen land in the trees (it eluded me). I could smell winter - crisp, cold in my nose, old leaves and maybe a tiny scent of skunk? I could feel the breeze on my cheeks, the sun in my eyes, and the quiet peace of this spot.

If you'd zoom in, you'd might notice the blue heron at the edge of the far right side of this tributary on our creek in our forest preserve. 

I've seen this big bird on my last three walks near the dam. Here's a bonus photo of it - it was about ten feet from me and didn't fly away when I recorded it and took its picture! :D

If you'd zoom out, you'd notice the sun trying to light up the morning.

I hope to notice more in 2024. When I notice, I hope to pause and breathe, listen better, provide more attention, make fewer judgements, and stay centered in more moments.

I'm excited to NOTICE and give attention to other bloggers in 2024, as well! 

Thank you Two Writing Teachers for creating a space to share our stories.