Day 100 - Hugs

Sunday, June 21 2020 - Father's Day

Since it's Day 100, I've seen lots of photos and videos with people without masks on, my sister and her family have been hugging my parents since Day 1, I miss my parents' hugs and I want to make Mom happy... I hugged Mom and Dad today.

You may think it's no big deal. I'm going to stop guessing at what people think these days. I'm so in the dark.

Then we are not the same in this regard, and that's okay. I am amazed (and yet I know I shouldn't be) at the differences in people lately. The widening gap between people who believe one thing and people who believe the other.

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In other news:

Maybe one in twenty people at Trump's indoor rally in OK last night had masks on.
The Confederate flag was banned at Nascar.
I am getting so beat down by this anti-racism training. It's so educational. I'm trying my best to blog about it here, and I feel as if I'm failing. I know it's a huge learning curve.

Day 66 - My #LastNormalPhoto or #PhotoBeforeQuarantine

I saw the two new hashtags, and I immediately picked up my phone to see what it was. I thought it would be from my dad's 85th birthday party on March 14th (we even went to a restaurant as a large family!!), but I didn't take any photos that day. Instead, it was this one...

Carrie and I have a great relationship. We can not see each other for months and then BAM! We catch up in no time. We work in the same district, but we met at an EdCamp (or maybe it was a SIT conference??). Carrie's a big hugger, just like me, and I remember her sharing when the Stay-At-Home order came in that she's going to hug EVERYONE when this is all over - the person who bags her groceries, the person who holds the door open... Yup.

Now it's 66 days in for us, and I found out we're both just not feeling ourselves. I replied back to Carrie that I don't like how I (kind of) recoil when people kind of get close at the grocery store. I talked with Hubby about it yesterday, and he said it's normal. We're being asked to stand apart from each other, and it's because there is (what feels like imminent) danger if we don't.

I hope I don't lose that part of my identity. I hope - at edcamps - that I'm still known as the girl who hugs everyone. I hope when people go to an edcamp and say hi to me they still expect one - and I hope I still give them - without hesitation. Maybe I'll wait to attend another one until I CAN be who I used to be. Maybe, instead, I'll change. I've changed in a few other ways already. I can't tell what will happen. Who knows?

No one has these answers. There are so many questions in all this to which no one seems to have the answers. It's one of the hardest parts of the pandemic for this privileged girl, and I'm learning to put off the questions until someone comes out and answers them for me without me asking. My patience is growing leaps and bounds.