30-Day Challenge from The Antiracist Table

A place/site called the Antiracist Table offers a free 30-Day Challenge. (You can find more in this online binder I curate.) Sadly, I've had it on my list to do since 2020 (or 2021?), and now I'm not sad that I started and completed it this July. (There is a small fee if you want the 26-Day challenge instead - I didn't see the point. I chose July because it was my least busy month this summer.)

I waited so long because I must've been under the assumption that I had to do all the work for each day on that day. Nope. It's self-paced. The days are there to keep you coming back, and there's freedom to do the activities at your own pace.

There are meditations that I sometimes did and sometimes didn't do. And there are journal prompts that I lazily just did in my mind instead of writing them down. Things that I wanted to really stick in my mind I wrote in another journal I have from reading Me and White Supremacy.

Here's a recap, should you be thinking of joining...

Week 1 almost put me off the timeline they set, but I kept at it - probably because I enjoy reading nonfiction. There was a LOT of reading - history! Some I knew, some that was new to me - including a history of lynching (which I didn't know happened well past the end of slavery). A couple of videos were included - including one documentary about the 13th amendment.

Week 2 touched on white fragility and white silence. It also talked about feelings - there were quite a few references to Brené Brown's work.

Week 3 shared some things that people started doing in 2020 to help dismantle racist policies. It was here that I could see this challenge was created in the wake of the murder of George Floyd.

And Week 4 brought it all home... making sure the participants understand what we need to do to continue on our path to become more antiracist.

Do you still like teaching?

...he asked at graduation night.

I replied quickly. "Yes." And then I didn't know how to follow up. I think I said something along the lines of "there are always a few kids that really make your day difficult. But then you get a 'thank you' letter from another student and you think, I can stay a bit longer."

I don't know why he asked me. Is it because he hasn't seen a tweet from my account since December? Is it because now I present on "Shifting Away from Stress"? It is because my TikToks are about the tough parts of teaching? The question sat with me when I was falling asleep, and it was still there in the morning.

Was I honest with my answer? Yes. There are myriad reasons for me to (still) like teaching. 

• What REALLY makes me still enjoy teaching is thank you letters from students who I didn't get much feedback from during the school year. The quiet students I couldn't read. The ones I didn't have a strong connection with. The children I thought didn't care much for me or the class. To get those letters reaffirms that much of what I'm doing is good. Right. Just. Through all the chaos that happens around them, these students have shared that I'm calm, always smiling, and that I provide a welcoming environment. Of course, these letters are in my scrapbook, and sometimes I take a photo of one to keep near me on difficult days. This one may be hard to read, but it's the most recent that I keep by my desk:
  
• I'm SLOWLY learning that I do not have control over students' actions or words, yet I DO have control of my own. And when students are disrespectful to me or to other students, I can stay calm. I can provide consequences. I can continue the rest of the period ignoring the disrespect while I make connections with students who are respectful that day. I now even share with students that they make their own decisions, and I am not to blame for what they do or say. I can only provide a role model for how to react - or not react. Each year, I improve my own demeanor, and I go home knowing that bad behavior by a student was not my fault. 
• I've been practicing how to take care of myself. I eat healthy, with some chocolate thrown in. I exercise each day. I make time for myself each night - reading and then making slow circles with my head, stretching my neck (where most of my stress lies). Part of taking care of myself is making decisions in class that I would normally leave up to students. It's just this year that I've realized that when I do "take a vote," it's the loud(er), more often disrespectful students who run the show. I'm done with that. I've been making decisions that benefit me, and in turn they probably benefit the respectful students.
• I keep in mind that the children I teach are children. Adolescence is probably the toughest age. It's the age where they're figuring out who they want to be, how they want to act, and what boundaries they want to test. They take a lot of risks, and they worry so much about what others think of them. They want to be liked - some act out to be liked, and some simply hide so no one notices them. What an age. I, myself, hated being 12 and 13. I hope I'm helping some have a pleasant 80 minutes. And if not pleasant, I hope they find I'm a safe person to share troubles or anxieties with.
• The laughter keeps me smiling at work. What other job has so many funny (and sometimes) crazy stories? Even when a student is being immature or receives a consequence for a bad choice, many times I smile when I get home. I know they're testing me and themselves, and I hope they're learning valuable lessons.
• As an ELA teacher, I LOVE sharing great books. Many have lost the love of reading at this age. I love it when just ONE student picks up a book I've shared. And when he or she likes it, too, I glow. I feel I've sparked a love of reading once again. I also love sharing that I've written - and published - two books. The questions they ask when they find out are so fun for me to answer. I love sharing that a total stranger picked my book apart... that I had to read it FIVE times before all the editing was done, and that feedback is so valuable for our writing. When students get my video feedback, I love when they decide to revisit what they've written and revise using my suggestions. They often thank me for taking the time to make the video of me reading their writing. And... when they get a choice in writing and fly with it... I love seeing budding authors excitedly at work and proud of their work.

So... yeah. I enjoy teaching. I will never master it, as students and situations change yearly (daily!), but sometimes the challenge makes me enjoy it, too. I feel as if not many people can do what I do. Sometimes I feel beat down, but I've come back each time now, and I'm stronger than ever. Sure, someone will replace me some day, but right now I'm getting experience that not many other professions can claim to have. It's certainly not for everybody, but I'm making the most of it.

Behavior in the Classroom

I got to go to a PD session that I enjoyed - and I also got some ideas to take back!

Practical Strategies for Improving the Behavior of Attention-Seeking, Manipulative and Challenging Students (Grades 1-12)

It was put out by BER (Bureau of Education and Research), and provided by Cindy Jones, who will be retiring very soon. I pre-judged her, as she shared her age as 75, and I thought that there was no way she had been with students since pandemic teaching. I was wrong to pre-judge, of course. She had a wealth of experience, and she's worked with children in terrible situations - for them and for her. After listening to many of her stories, I realized that I had it good in comparison. Throughout the day, she shared reasons WHY children may be acting up. I won't put all those reasons here - they're good to know, for sure. For this blog post, I want to document the actions we can use to help with these behaviors. Cindy put on a "workshop" - she told us to shop for ideas we'd like to take back for us or for our peers - there was no need to use it all. Some things she talked about that I won't include are building relationships, rewards, and contracts.

Two types of students who attract our attention for myriad reasons:

Golden Retrievers

     No matter how much attention they get, it's not enough. Praise publicly, correct privately. Give them attention up front, asking about the puppy or the football game. Move close to them as you're teaching. Drop their name during the lesson. Distract them ("___, what are the instructions?"). Ask them for a favor. Clarify desired behavior ("When you finish your work, you may..."). Give affirmations.

     Consider using Compliment Cards. Have these pre-made, so they're easy to find and hand out. Students can make their own as well, should you have a box of them for them to use.

Wolverines

     These children want control at all times. They are often oppositional and disrespectful. Praise and correct privately (or use non-verbal gestures). They're testing you. Give two choices ("Would you like for me to help you get started, or would you like to get started on your own?" "Would you like to do this now or after school?"). Use Teflon Responses. Use distraction. Change the subject. Dodge irrelevant issues ("We're not talking about that.  We're talking about...." in a calm tone). Use empathetic statements. Don't take it personally and get furious - instead get curious. Discuss misbehavior later. Acknowledge that you can't make them do things and you hope they make good choices. If they do damage, have them make restitution. When they argue or refuse, say, "You do or you don't. I hope you make a good choice."

Some ideas we can use:

Beginning of the Year Relationship Agreement

     Create one chart for each class, or combine the charts into one with student consensus/buy-in. Have four quadrants: student to student (no drama, positive vibes, one up to it, kind words and actions, help each other, share), student to teacher (pay attention, kind words and actions, be responsible, smile, follow directions, put forth effort), teacher to student (listen, be patient, give warnings, provide affirmations), and student to classroom (pick up after yourself, care for supplies, hands off others and their items, follow seating expectations). On Fridays or Mondays, go over how everyone did and how we could all improve. Choose one thing to improve upon. (I used to do this as a plus/delta chart - I've gone away from it for various reasons.)

Affirmations

     Some of these I thought were a bit below my grade level (7th grade), and some of them made me laugh, no less. Cindy shared different kinds of body movements + catch phrases we can provide for students who are doing well. "You are worthy" + stretching arms up and then moving them down as if bowing to the student. "Do, do, do, do, you did a good job" + disco fever dancing like John Travolta. "Go (name)" + washing machine action. Then there are small ones - the "microwave" is a teeny wave with your pinky finger. The "flea clap" is your thumb and pointer finger clapping (like the number 20 in sign language). I also liked the silent cheer - like clapping for a Deaf audience - hands up, open, and shaking. A peer of ours shared the Confetti Cannon extension on Chrome, too. She said we'll probably get pushback at first, but then students will start asking for affirmations.

Brain Breaks

     Cindy gave us many ideas for brain breaks, and I was reminded that kids need breaks to feel more connected (to each other and to their teacher) and to shift their mindset (and their feelings about the class, or the teacher, or stressors). Ideas to use: look for hidden objects in a picture, visual puzzles, thumbs up/down/sideways for trivia questions, word or math puzzles, pen flips, draw in the air to answer a question, stand up if a statement is true, take six steps with your partner to share an idea, "would you rather" questions with a partner, question of the day, "have you ever" questions ("I have!"), "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean", etc. I've got a book of them that I haven't used yet this year. It's okay to take two minutes for this. She knows that kids can be derailed by this, but says it takes about a week and a half for them to get in the groove and keep it to two minutes. My 12 year olds need state changes after 12 minutes, maximum. "Give me a thumbs up if you can..." repeat the last sentence I said... tell me one thing you just learned...

Cue/Signal Cards

     Create small (business-card sized) cards with cues you feel you need to give often. They may say things like, "Please get started on your work," "Please consider if what you want to share is good for our class," "Eyes on your work," and include good things too, such as, "You're doing great today," and "I'm proud of you," and you can use them to relocate students "Please take your book and move to ..." Cindy had a poster of Alaska in one end of the room - for kids to "chill out" and work independently. She had another poster of Hawaii - for kids to go on a little vacation. They can't live there, as it's very expensive. They could go there to draw or fidget or breathe. 

Empathetic Statements

     Note: If these are overused, you're probably not really listening. They'll catch on and know you're not really empathetic. Stay out of judgement, and recognize the emotion. 

          I am so sorry to hear that.

          That must be really difficult.

          I was worried about you.

          It sounds like you're angry / sad / upset.

          I am here for you and ready to listen.

          I know what it's like. You're not alone.

          I don't know what to day. I'm just glad you told me.

          How can I help you?

Music

     Use low-volume spa or classical music or nature sounds during quiet work (or Yanni, Jim Brickman, Kenny G...). Use something like "Conga" when students are up and moving around for an activity. One quote she kept saying, "The more you yak, the worse they act."

Pivot Praise

     The person near the person misbehaving... "Sarah, thanks for getting your work out. John, thank you for sitting so quietly and waiting patiently."

Regulate Ourselves

     Before we learn, we need to be regulated. Breathing ideas: Headspace app, smell the rose, blow out a handful of candles, figure eight, hand breathing, 

Teflon Responses

    Don't get into a power struggle - you'll lose. Cindy said that being in a power struggle is like wrestling with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig enjoys it. Instead, use Teflon Responses... These should be said with a neutral voice and a neutral face. If you can, after you say it, walk away / move along. Some responses I liked: 

          Hmm...

          I see.

          I argue at 3:15. Come back then.

          I will ponder that point later.

          I'll be interested to see how that works out for you.

          I see things differently.

          I'm moving on now.

          And now it's time to...

          You've mistaken me for someone who wants to argue.

          You and I can talk about that later.

          I hope you make a good choice.

Transitional Warnings

     Let students know what's coming next. "In five minutes, we'll be returning to our seats."

Where am I wrong?

     In the hallway or without an audience is best. Let the student know... "The story I'm telling myself about why you are behaving this way or note doing your work is... Where am I getting it wrong?"

Wrong - Right - Praise

    Tell the student what they're doing wrong, what you want them to do, and praise for any compliance. Ex: You're talking to a peer. Please read your book independently now. Thank you.

This past week:

I tried the Teflon Responses the most. I also used the "Wrong-Right-Praise" twice. I was able to move on to the next thing I had to do without more resistance. However, it made me feel like a robot. I know my face looks much better when I smile, and I felt as if I was being a cold non-feeling robot when I put on my Teflon/neutral face. It doesn't feel like me. It's no fun. I'll keep using bits and pieces from what I've learned, and it's going to be a work in progress.

A Few Memories from the Past Week

A glance into my school week...

Not-so-fun stuff:

Students started taking notes on Tuesday - reading articles (already curated for them), and copying and pasting evidence into a document (already made for them). We spent about 80 minutes total over the four days finding, copying, and pasting evidence. I walked around helping students the entire time. Some finished by Friday. Three (out of 62) have NOTHING copied and pasted. It'll be impossible for them to choose the best evidence to write about on Monday. This will also affect their writing partners.

I heard these words this week (when I wasn't supposed to, I'm sure) spoken by 7th graders: bullshit, pervert, pedophile, damn

Three students of mine in one class like to yell, "Bunti!" and I still don't know what it means, but it doesn't sound like a good thing the way they say it in class.

As soon as one of my classes has any unstructured time (ex: the four-minute passing period), I have to keep an eye on at least five students. I only have unidirectional sight.

More horseplay = "think-about-it" reflection and notes home.

The students think I should us GoGuardian - instead of the responsibility being on them to not go on their games on the Chromebook.

One student was talking about another, and said, "This morning he said the moon landing was fake and they gave the astronauts hallucinogens."

I used a pliers (I keep in my drawer) to get a fishing lure out of the carpeting. At least the student could get the other end off his hoodie tie, and I'm glad I had a pliers.

Was in a very awkward meeting this week. Glad I'm learning to listen better, and I'm glad I wasn't asked to share.

Got another letter from a parent wanting to know the books for our next book club and who chooses them and where they're from and what they're about... This parent can opt out, but doesn't want me to talk to the child about it.

Had a student (I have a good relationship with) ask when we're going to do another read aloud, and I shared that we might not. The book I've used before (short, fast chapters, done in eight days) has been well-received by students but may not be well-received by a parent. I don't know any that are that engaging that I can read in that amount of time.

Lots of talk about the current society's impact on our classrooms.

Spent some moments wondering if I could teach sign language instead of ELA for my last 5.5 years.

Good stuff:

I shared a student-created podcast and they hosted a Q & A session afterwards.

Wrote to parents about what we're doing in ELA this month and got a couple of nice responses. I also wrote good notes home to parents and got a couple of nice responses.

Overheard a student say, "The worst pet would be an elephant."

We were able to try a new platform (to us) for our article of the week.

We were playing "Heardle" in homeroom, and the student at the computer typed in "Chineato Connor" when me and my co-worker recognized the song "Nothing Compares 2 U." (Last week, the student typed in "you too" for the group U2.)

At the end of a rough class Friday, many of my sweet students said, "Thank you" and "Have a good weekend, Mrs. Kirr" on their way out. We made eye contact and smiled at each other.

Laughed a lot with coworkers a couple of times.

I was gifted these drawings of me (smiling, I think):

Good stuff at home:

Bob made homemade chocolate chip cookies.

I went to bed at 7:47pm Friday.

My home is a refuge.

My house is quiet.

I am loved.

In Time...

I chatted with Jen Vincent a week or two ago - about writing.

And it turns out... I haven't written lately. She asked why, and I shared that nothing I want to write is positive these days, and I like to put out positive posts, as I don't want my "legacy" or people's perception of me to be negative.

She gave me an idea.

Write what happened. Write about how you felt in that moment. Wait a bit. Write later - sharing what you feel now about that incident/event/whatever it was you wrote about. In addition, write about what you learned. Because isn't that what life is made of? Our ups, downs, in-betweens... They're what make us US. So I thought I'd try it today...

----------

I shared this tweet after a dinner with my parents:

It included a link to a post I wrote about why I'm staying in education for awhile longer.

No one commented on the post. I don't know if anyone read it. I know, that in a tweet of 280 characters, no one can share the entire story. So I didn't. And I didn't feel a need to. I just wanted to share that suddenly my mom doesn't have faith in the public education system. And her daughter's an educator in her 28th year. How did I feel when I tweeted it out? Sad. Disappointed in today's "news" that has parents up in arms. Sad that they believe all the stories they hear - that are just not true. Sad they won't do the research and ask at the schools about the rumors. Just... sad for teachers around the nation.

I saw replies when I looked at Twitter again the next morning.

Here's a sampling of the ones I didn't block right away:

How did I feel that morning?

Angry. Mad that if I was smart, I couldn't respond to any of them, because I've learned in the past that that's what they want. Flustered. Confused. I looked at my bio and through my timeline like they wanted me to. Were they all upset because I have my PRONOUNS in my BIO? I felt confused that THAT was what upset them and made them think I should be "terminated" - one even said I should've been aborted.  ABORTED. (That's one I blocked right away.) Sick. Yes, I felt sick. I did NOT want to teach "their" children that morning. I did NOT want to be nice and give grace to any students. I wanted all of them to homeschool their own children, because I thought their children must also be rude, disrespectful, and okay with hiding behind aliases in order to be mean. I stopped the comments on that thread. I was also kind of... afraid. I was glad, however, that I don't really have location information in my Twitter bio.

How did I feel once I got to school?

Still sick about it. Then a peer stopped me and said, "Your parents must watch _____." Yup. He added, "They're obsessed with sexuality," and he laughed. So I thought about it as I got ready for the day ahead.

How did I feel once students showed up?

I was chuckling. If I spent my day talking about sexuality, we'd get NOTHING done. I thought of all the teachers I work with. I've not told anyone at school (teachers or students) my pronouns - because I'm still "old school." I don't feel I need to, as I wear skirts, I'm married to a man, and I think I put out that "I'm a female" vibe somehow. I don't have one student (this year) who wants me to refer to them as a specific pronoun. I never once, the entire day, talked about gender or sexuality - with anyone. What DID I talk about? Taking out our notebooks, being quiet while reading choice books, correct grammar in writing so your story could be read and understood by others, keeping hands (and feet, and heads) to ourselves, using evidence to support your claim, looking through the text, football, hockey, how I'm thankful for their hard work... The normal stuff teachers talk about. The normal stuff teachers have been talking about for years.

That was October 10 when I got the vitriol and harassment. 

How do I feel now, on October 23?

Still kind of defeated. Still sick about how educators aren't trusted by so many - and sad rumors are still going around about what is taught in schools. Sad that parents can't ask their own kids about what's going on. Sad about what the kids in front of me might be being taught just by being around adults at home who think I'm evil because I have pronouns in my Twitter bio. I'm not even sure if I have them in my work email signature, as it's really not something I'm concerned about. I feel... tired. Exhausted. From trying to convince people like my parents that I'm a good teacher, and there are very many good teachers. I never had to try to convince others before. I'm feeling... disrespected. Sad that those anonymous people want me to feel this way - and leave the teaching profession.

What have I learned?

• I've learned that many people don't know what's going on in their children's classrooms. I've learned that bullies online hide behind masks and aliases. (Garth Vader wanted me to be "brave" and let people comment again - and yet... it was Garth Vader saying this.)
• If I don't want trolling bullies behind aliases telling me I should be terminated, I shouldn't "rock the boat." I don't like confrontation. I thought I was simply sharing a story with my own network. What some might call an "echo chamber" is what I was looking for right then. I wanted some to say they felt the same - that I wasn't alone. And a couple of them did. Yet... I don't feel it was worth the angst.
• I've learned to be blunt with some people. There is a parent this year who thinks that at least one of the book club choices I provided to students had sex in it. At conferences, I let her know that no - none of the books on that list have sex in them. I let her know I've read them all, and I encouraged her to read the one we both chose together for her daughter WITH her daughter.
• I've learned I can't spend my time thinking about what other people think. What good does that do me? I will go for walks outside, keep reading diverse literature to learn about others who have gone through different experiences than I have, to make more bookmarks for my students (it's a soothing balm for me!), and to keep being a role model - kind, caring, and supportive to ALL children.
• I've learned to give it time... In time, I will feel less angry, less reactive, and I will have learned once again. Life is not without troubles. In my own life, this was a drop in the bucket. It was a bump in my road that helped me learn.
• I have a lot of wishes... namely that people focus more on what actually harms children... Lots and lots of wishes, and only one vote.

Give it time. 

Try your best. 

Be the person you want to be.

The Book of Joy

This book is my latest opportunity to learn about how to have better mental health during this time of teaching in a pandemic.

My personal notes from this book are here.

What are my key take-aways?

Life is full of struggle. Make of it what you can. Do your part. Enjoy the journey by being present in each moment; experience it all fully.

Gratitude & Compassion - these will get you far.

I make a practice of #ThankfulThursdays with my students; I'm going to find a way for us to practice compassion once a week, as well! We need more compassion in this world, and it starts with us.

Teaching with Transparency

I was asked to present at the first ever USQ Conference - practically in my backyard in Schaumburg, IL. USQ stands for "Unhinging the Status Quo." What a great concept! Here's what the website said:

In order to present, however, I needed to present with students. OKAY! First names that popped into my husband's head were Robert and Rosann - our niece and nephew, going into 8th grade. Hmmm... this might actually be a great idea.

I composed and sent an email to them - asking them to answer without talking to the other one until they were finished with their thoughts. I asked this question: How would you change school (reasonably), and why? They both wrote about different things - homework and tests, bullying and isolation... and yet there was a theme that wove through them both. Teachers need to be more transparent. Here's our opening slide that the kids created:



The day prior to the conference, Rosann told Grandma (my mom) that this is going to be the most important thing she's ever done. That's pressure. I hoped and prayed that she felt the same when we were finished.

After the day we had, this may have been the most important thing I, myself, have ever done for these two young learners / leaders. They were on cloud nine that they could share their message. Other students were able to present and share their ideas, as well. There may have been as many as 20 students from various schools (Michigan, Illinois, and Jack McConnell's family came from Georgia - that's a whole 'nother post) attending and presenting. There were multiple times throughout the day that "non voters" were asked for their opinions, and they often took the microphone and added their ideas to the conversation. I don't know if I've ever seen them so empowered. Oh, I hope they keep this feeling with them as they grow further.

Some valuable tweets I'd love to keep here forever...

Next steps?

• Keep finding ways to open the lines (be more transparent!) of communication among educators and students.
• Keep providing opportunities for student input when making decisions related to education.
• Keep providing opportunities for students to share their ideas and teach us.
• Provide the venue (microphone included!), listen to ideas, follow through using their ideas, and students will learn to trust us and will want to help where they can.

We're working towards providing students with more and more say in school matters. Their voice matters, and their ideas are incredible. Let's keep moving towards providing them with the opportunities to make a difference in their own education.

What are your plans for providing more opportunities for students to provide input and lead?

Many many thanks to Sara Wilke, Dale Truding, and Nancy Wagner for this chance to help these two students (and so many others!) blossom and lead. Many thanks to Megan Hacholski and Michael Abramczyk - the volunteer social media ambassadors who shared our learning so we the rest of us could be truly present. BONUS: Here is USQ's post about Robert & Rosann's message.

This post is week 3 of 8 in the 8 Weeks of Summer Blog Challenge for educators. I went off-prompt for this one. It does relate, as it shows how I can be a leader and follower all in one day - just like at school... 😉

Troublemakers

Labels irk the heck out of me.

The fact that we label students as "troublemakers" really irritates me, even though I've done it myself.

I've been waiting (why have I been waiting?) to read this one for a bit, and it did not disappoint, as I read it in two days...

The canary and cage on the front have two meanings. The most obvious is from Maya Angelou's "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," and the less obvious is the one that distressed me the most. Miners used to take canaries down in the mines with them, as they served as warnings about the air quality. If a canary were to die, the miners had to get out. When a child is singing loudly, we need to heed that as a warning that something is wrong in this classroom. Most likely, it's the imbalance of power.

Most of what Carla Shalaby shares is about a child's need to feel free - to feel as if they're in some sort of control - to feel HUMAN.

The four students the author chose to focus on were in what seemed to me GREAT schools. She asked the principal to share two teachers of high caliber. And to those teachers, she asked, "Who of your students is the most troublesome?" These are the four she shadowed for a bit - at school, and when possible, at home. What I found kind of amusing and kind of sad is that the behaviors these four first graders exhibited were some of the very same behaviors I see in some seventh graders.

I can see and understand the messages she shares about the young black students not having any adults at school to look to for models. I can see how schools are conforming students to ... basically act white. When I think of my own students, the ones that I lose sleep over happen to be white. My school has a high white population (and I, too, am white). The author is upset about students' exclusion to a different part of the room or a different room altogether. I do not worry about physically excluding students, but I may exclude them unintentionally if I call them out on something in front of the entire class.

What I was really struck by was the conformity we expect of our students.

The author points out that educators want compliance because that's what's expected in schools. That's how we can get our lessons across, and that's how the school culture simply IS.

While she was sharing the stories of the four seven-year-olds, I couldn't help but think of my own students, and I was reminded of a few things:

• Students really don't have much control at school, especially compared to at home. No matter how much we think we have student-directed learning or choice or voice, this book forced me to consider how much I actually control, and how much the school culture actually dictates.
• Many students learn that the culture of school is to listen and obey.
• Some students are simply just being themselves. Their personalities may differ from those of the majority of the class, or else the majority has figured out it's safer to hide or squash their true personalities at school.
• "Different" is often perceived as causing trouble.
• Many (most?) children have a natural tendency to want to learn. What do we do at school that dissolves that initiative? We have a curriculum to teach. I wonder how many times our curriculum is not something each child would choose to learn each day...
• Teachers often pigeonhole children into doing what we do, and doing it how we do it.
• We may have 25 students in class. We don't always make the time to help answer questions from inquisitive minds, and yet we encourage them to be inquisitive. We want them to think for themselves, and when they do, it can cause a disturbance. We want them to be independent, but only under our parameters.
• We need to listen to individual students.
• We need to get to know our students even more.
• We need to let them know when we are proud of them.
• We need to notice and name the good they do.
• We need to see them (or imagine them) outside of school - how does what they're doing in school look like outside of school? Might what they're doing actually help them somehow outside of the school setting?
• Stop labeling students! Making trouble is a verb - not a noun. It's not something to fix. It's something to explore.
• Just because a student is a "good student" does not mean that he or she will succeed outside of school. Compliance does not always equal success. We put so many limits on students in school - how will they succeed when they're left on their own? We want children to find their identities, to figure out their strengths, to be confident, to have a voice in decisions... We need to give them the room to do so - without fear of punishment, or worse, exclusion.

At the end of the book, I still wanted MORE. I wish I could copy the entire conclusion and her note to teachers here. Instead, this will be your advertisement to read this book if you have not yet. The author does not solve our problems with these so-called "troublemakers." She leaves it to us and our students. I have a tiny idea of what I can do when I return to school after this two-week break, and yet I know my students will have to help me figure it out. They have many more ideas than I ever will, and maybe we can get to the root of what they need from me.

My favorite quote: 

How stressful it must be to be a young person in our schools! How unsafe and frightening it must be to wonder - as you witness the next punishment and rejection of one of your peers - if you will be next. That kind of conditional acceptance, subjective belonging, contingent care, must feel terribly threatening to children, whom we know are biologically wired to make illogical choices as their brains continue to develop. They make mistakes and they make bad decisions - don't we all? Especially when we are stressed, feeling unsafe, and suffering?

Ambiguity as a Learning Tool

The Building Learning Communities conference in Boston always inspires and challenges me.

Even though this was my fourth consecutive year presenting sessions, I was also asked to present one of the keynotes. Wednesday and Friday are reserved for one-hour keynotes, and Thursday is for three-four 15-20 minute keynotes. Thank goodness I was asked to present on Thursday!

I'd known about this presentation since November. Ideas percolated around my brain for months before I started putting ideas down on paper. I had not been told what to speak on, and the closer it got to July, the more I got to thinking I was on my own to decide.

This ambiguity was so difficult for me. Sure, I could set my own sessions for the week - those were based on where I felt my strengths lie, and I had many resources to share for when participants had questions. The 20 minutes in front of 500 people?? It was like choosing the right song for "American Idol"! (mine would be "Broken Wing" from Martina McBride!)

As I wrestled with what the message should be, and who my audience was, I never thought that not knowing - this ambiguity - this uncertainty - was what was so difficult for me.

That is, until the day AFTER my keynote, Ted Dintersmith - author of What School Could Be - said that ambiguity scares students. Taking a path where they might fail is scary. He says that we have many "Go fetch a dog biscuit" kids. They are really good at following our directions. They are not good with ambiguity.

I immediately thought - that's why the keynote was so difficult for me! If Alan November had told me what he wanted, I would do it. If nobody cared for the idea, I could blame it on someone else...

I figured it out. I had to! I did have parameters - It had to be ready by July 26th at 8:30 am, and it could be 15-20 minutes long. I also felt I had to share something about shifting... shifting SOMEthing. I didn't want to talk about Shift This (which of course, you can purchase right here 😉).

I also knew I didn't want to use the ideas from my "Shift the Culture" one-hour presentation. I had to create something new.

With these parameters, I thought about the history of my learning at BLC, what I've learned from others, and I decided it should be about shifting the language.

(Yes, deaf education is part of my journey.)

I was geeked to say hello (again) to the other two keynoters - both passionate educators on the other ends of the spectrum - Aaron Polansky from a vocational school in Massachusetts, and Pana Asavavatana who works with K-2 in Taiwan! When I got to BLC on Wednesday, Aaron said he'd changed his message a few times already, and he even changed it further the night prior! I think he had a tough time with the ambiguity, as well. I think Pana had her message about literacy ready to go (I could be totally wrong about that - we didn't have much time to talk) - even though we all had nerves galore!

I became more comfortable with the message in it as I went through sessions on Wednesday, the day prior to the most nerve-wracking thing I've had to do in a long time. Others at BLC were talking about change, and shifts they're trying to make, and how "others at my school" weren't on the same page.

The morning of the presentation, we were told our order (what a relief when I found out I'd go first!), and Alan said, "Your topic is genius hour, right?" My eyebrows went up and I froze for a moment. 

I said, "Nope. It's on shifting the language. Labels we're given and such."

He only said, "Interesting!" and went on explaining more plans for the next hour... Phew!

The ambiguity I was offered was a gift in disguise. I learned so much from brainstorming, trying different ideas, considering past conference messages, putting together much of what I've learned, and listening to the audience / participants the day prior. I tweaked two or three things based on what I'd learned Wednesday, and I was as ready as I'd ever be Thursday morning.

How did it go?

I'm happy with what I did. I have no idea what I actually said... I had my notes, but don't remember  using them. I did hear laughter in all the right places, and I saw many heads nod. Reactions and expressions of gratefulness from educators the rest of the day solidified that I had reached them in some way. They felt included. They felt as if I knew them. They felt empowered. Alan told me I'd done a "fabulous" job, and a few told me they had tears (which I didn't expect).

My lessons learned?

-Go with your gut. Say what you feel you need to say. Speak from the heart.

-Use the ambiguity as a learning experience. Research, reflect, brainstorm, tweak, get feedback...

-Provide students more chances every day to struggle with - and learn from - such vagueness.

-When they struggle with uncertainty, help them to notice all they are learning.

-Provide tools for them to persevere, so it will be easier for them the next time around.

-As always, these challenges should come without any grade attached...

-Um... hello - doesn't this sound a bit like Genius Hour? Or personalizing learning - ALL DAY?!

Challenge for all of us - How can we incorporate more opportunities for our children / students to struggle with ambiguity during our school days?

A HUGE thank you to Alan November and the BLC team for providing me this experience. More huge kudos to Aaron and Pana - we did it!! Everyone loved your messages! Let's put a handle on helping students and educators make more connections! I'm excited to read about your own reflections.

Here's the "moment" I made using Twitter - to capture some of the essence of my message. Stay tuned for further posts as a result of reflections from this fabulous conference!

A Learning Dilemma

I'm working with a student when she appears at my side and asks...

"Mrs. Kirr, do you have pencil lead?"

"Middle drawer of the student station."

I continue working with a student on an activity, when she returns...

"There are three pieces left. Can I have them all?"

"Do you need all three? What about other students?"

"They don't need them. If they did, they would've taken them."

"What about my next class? Or tomorrow's classes?"

"Can I have them all?"

"You have to make that decision."

"I hate you, Mrs. Kirr."

----------

One aspect of having a student station in lieu of a teacher desk is that students have to manage the supplies. I've run out of tape, often times after a student takes the tape to their own desk and "decorates" their pencil. We make do without tape for a bit after that. Sometimes students help peers regulate how much of the supplies they need. I've also gained a few pairs of scissors along the way.

My students are 11, 12, and 13 years old. Their frontal lobes, the part of the brain they use to they make decisions, won't be fully developed until they're 22 years old (or even later). They need the practice making these types of decisions. I'm glad the student station provides a teeny bit of this practice.

I've told this story a couple of times, and have been asked each time, "Did she take all three?"
I have no clue.
I don't need to know.
I love that she had the internal struggle.
I'm okay that she "hated" me at that point in her life.
I hope she learned something as a result.
And really - I can afford to run out of pencil lead.

Social LEADia

Darn you, Jennifer Casa-Todd.

I was perfectly happy having class Twitter and Instagram accounts. We were sharing photos of what we were doing, adding hashtags to get more views, and every now and then we asked an author or an expert a question.

Darn you, student LEADers.

I was perfectly happy following my own students on Instagram, and giving them comments to support their positive posts. I hadn't a CLUE what you were capable of, and didn't have a clue how you could affect my own students with your examples. Now I've got my work cut out for me, because my students HAVE to see your ideas!

Darn you, #Hashtags.

I was perfectly happy adding teacher hashtags to our posts. Now I've got so many more hashtags I need to expose my students to... #KidsCANteachus will be the first one, since I met the almighty @thelivebits in Boston at the BLC conference while reading this book!

These are ALL good things - very positive steps for @KirrClass this next school year. But darn you, Jennifer Casa-Todd. I now feel an OBLIGATION...

• to look through the myriad resources you cited so I may understand more.
• to teach digital citizenship, aligned with face-to-face citizenship.
• to expose my students to some of the best role models on social media EVER.
• to share these ideas with every adult who says "social media is bad."

THANK YOU, Jennifer Casa-Todd, for lighting this fire under me. I had a shift ready for my next
school year, and now I know the next one. It doesn't have to be big - it will be inclusive. I will find ways to include the ideas you shared with my students, weaving them into our other lessons about "close reading," empathy, kindness, and every other place they fit!

One more thing... When you purchase Social LEADia on Amazon, make sure to use AmazonSMILE, choosing the charity of your choice! Mine is Soaring Eagle Academy - it's local, and it was started by a good friend of mine! EVERY time I use Amazon, I use the AmazonSmile link. It's right and good.

As of today...

Unmapped Potential

Unmapped Potential by Julie Hasson and Missy Lennard (PurposefulPrincipals) went on my list to
read after a few quotes came at me from Twitter. This is not a review; this is simply one of my take-aways.

I think I got something out of this book that might not have been the authors' intent... I believe most of the focus (except for the stellar chapter 8 which gave GREAT information about how to lead your team) was supposed to be about the potential in our students. I learned better ways to work more effectively with colleagues that don't necessarily work the same way I do - to recognize and use my colleagues' potential. Bear with me here...

"If you want to change the world, start by making your bed." This quote, by Admiral Charles McRaven, came across my twitter feed a few days ago, and then I read it in Unmapped Potential - right on page four! The authors go on to say, "Simple steps done with consistency and conviction can create a big impact. And making a small, positive change in one area will positively impact all other areas." My thoughts went right to teacher interactions.

If you've got a pretty good rapport in class with students, in the hallways and after school, and you're anything like the readers of Shift This, the most difficult part of your day might be when you interact with other staff members. I've been getting many direct messages and emails from teachers who say that chapter ten on "Resistance" from Shift This resonated with them, because they feel they have no one they can go to during the day. They're thought of as the "crazy" teacher who has "loud" classes or tries "weird" activities, where no one is learning (grrr). And since there's only a certain amount of time during the day, these teachers that encounter this resistance decide to only focus on their students, and not on their relationships with their peers. Many of them have "given up." They'd rather put their energy into their students, because INSIDE the classroom is where they see the most collaboration and growth.

My mind was on these readers when I picked up Unmapped Potential, so I kept substituting "students" for "teachers" as I read. Next, I read, "...belief plus action helps you realize your goals." Julie and Missy went on to say that what we believe is what will happen. They shared a story about a boy who lost his eraser. He BELIEVED that another student had taken it, and he became very angry. Even though his teacher gave him another, he was still angry - at his BELIEF - not at the actual situation (which had been resolved). This story will stick with me for a long time, because I do this.

I do this. I think one thing about a person, and it stays with me. I've often that "that teacher doesn't want to change. That teacher is happy with the status quo." The authors say "Your struggle to connect with some people is likely rooted in your thoughts about them" (57). My thoughts/beliefs have driven a rut into my map about this person. It's so deep, and I don't even know if it's true. "If we focus on changing our thoughts about them, we can improve our relationships with them" (58). I realized I had to take a break from the book and come up with new beliefs. Stop reading here for a moment. Think of a person you believe "doesn't care" or "is negative" or "thinks my work is crazy." Then think of a POSITIVE belief you could honestly believe about that person. Once you've done this, please keep reading... 

If the person is a teacher, we can most likely be correct believing that "all teachers want their students to learn." Another belief - on our part - could be, "I believe this will be my best school year ever." I can see how saying this daily when you get ready for school could actually work!

We need to put up the "road closed" signs on that rutted road (belief) for now, hoping weeds will sprout through the cracks in the asphalt and that our new belief will take hold - a brand new road, clean, smooth, and ready for us to travel many times. (Did you know - this new road has stops along the way for refreshments? And most likely chocolate?)

What's next after creating a new belief? When we get agitated, frustrated, angry or worried, we need to repeat the new beliefs, and not let feelings influence our actions.

Prior to this happening, however, we need to visualize how we will respond to negativity if (when) it appears. At the end of each chapter there is a section called "Map-Changing Actions." The authors give great suggestions as to how to visualize your response (at the end of the fourth chapter).  "Close your eyes and see yourself successfully performing something challenging... (this could be a conversation with that teacher) ...Imagine the sensory details - what you see, hear and feel - as you perform the task. Envisioning your state may also be helpful. For example, seeing yourself in a calm state may decrease physical symptoms of stress when the time comes to perform it. Finally, envisioning success can enhance motivation and confidence, making you more likely to continue despite challenges."

Visualization has been used for how many years? For how many reasons? Yes. This could work. We need to make the time. (Heck, why not right now??)  When I think back on situations that might arise again at my own school, I can visualize how to keep calm and patient, and then what I might ask to get the conversation going. I'll try to ask more questions than give answers, and I'll put my focus into listening to responses.

If you've got an issue with a colleague, you've got your reasons - your purpose - for mending these issues. If it affects you negatively, you want that out of your life. You can only control so much. What you can control is your new beliefs. Spend some time shutting down those negative roads on your mind map. Spend more time setting up new beliefs to latch on to. Focus and apply your efforts on what you can control. Notice and appreciate the strengths in this person, and respond in ways that make both of you better, instead of bitter (29). If you try to avoid the challenge, "you cheat yourself out of an opportunity to grow" (50). And "...you will likely regret being angry, but you will never regret being kind" (61). "Your new way of responding to this person might just reduce the very behavior frustrating you" (64).

I can see how teachers can use the authors' messages to develop better relationships with colleagues. Looking through this lens will hopefully help those that encounter resistance throughout their day! Please share with me in the comments what beliefs you may have had and any new beliefs on which you choose to focus!

Challenge Your Own Ideas

I just finished reading The Radioactive Boy Scout: The Frightening true story of a whiz kid and his homemade nuclear reactor, by Ken Silverstein, from 2004.

David Hahn lived in Commerce Township, MI (a suburb of Detroit), and loved science. He wanted to collect each element on the periodic table. He wanted to... well, you can tell by the title of the story. Feel free to read it for details, but this is not a book review.

This is what caught my eye, from my teaching viewpoint:

If he'd been interested, David would have found it a simple matter to learn about the cons as well as the pros of the atomic age. But as with newfound converts to any cause, David wanted his ideas reinforced, not challenged. Certainly, the Curies and some of the other nuclear pioneers had suffered as a result of their labors, but that hadn't kept them out of the laboratory. For David, as for his heroes, the thrill of discovery made worthwhile any risks. (p 56)

Myriad stories of nuclear disasters and failed breeder reactors later...

Hence, despite coming of age at a time in which all the assorted screwups and accidents of the atomic age had generated a powerful antinuclear movement, David remained comfortably cocooned within the confident optimism of the 1950s and 1960s. His passion for the atom was fueled by the conservative family and community environment in which he was raised, as well as a natural aversion to intellectual challenge (which does not bode well for a career in science). "I tried not to read anything that would disappoint me or make me negative," he said candidly of his research strategy. "If I knew it had a critical perspective, I wouldn't even pick it up." (p 133)

YES. I remember when I first started learning about Genius Hour, I would NOT look at any blog posts or articles that went against what I wanted to hear. After awhile, however, words written against this type of learning really stuck in my head. I started to leave comments on their blog posts, sharing my thoughts. I really didn't want to see what they wrote back, but gradually I became interested more in the conversation than the one-sided "echo chamber" that I had fallen into. I created a new tab on the LiveBinder for opposing views.

My seventh graders experienced something similar this week. No matter how much we stress that we discuss ideas so that we may LEARN from others, I have a few who believe in one way or the other and will NOT budge during a fishbowl discussion... yet. They do NOT want to hear the other side... yet. They say they are listening, and yet they keep going back to what they'd already said before, or they share more of their own ideas, not even taking time to acknowledge that someone else spoke. They wanted to continue the discussion in the next period because, "I just have one more thing I need to say."

My last class, however, came to find peace in their fishbowl discussion on Friday. They admitted that there are different perspectives, from different times in the story. I happened to catch it on camera.
After this was said, their discussion petered out, and they agreed to disagree, without any animosity afterwards. They're learning to accept different opinions - so difficult at this age. I have a plan to help my other two classes see different perspectives the next time we conduct a fishbowl discussion... I'll let you know how it goes in a future post!

As teachers, we NEED to research. It's our duty to seek the opposition. Seek out other educators who have tried what we want to try in the classroom. Read or hear their stories of triumph, and of failure. Read about successes they celebrated and pitfalls they endured.

I believe it's also our duty to share what we're trying, so we can INVITE opposition. I share with parents every two weeks (our class updates are here). When parents express that they are not happy about something I'm doing (or not doing) in the classroom and my ideas are challenged, I become more reflective. I see through another lens and question the ideas once again. I conduct more research. I ask more questions. When educators challenge my ideas on Twitter or on this blog, I can now see it as an opportunity to GROW.

Here's my challenge for you: Start a blog if you haven't already. Write about what's important to you. Share your ideas. Watch your reflection become more useful, and watch your ideas develop and change. Do not become like David Hahn - in jeopardy of hurting yourself or those around you. Share, and seek responses - positive or negative.

Ready to start your blog? Here are seven tools compared by Richard Byrne!

Chasing Hardware

I'm writing this post for ME.

Feel free to comment, but this reflection is one I need to write about and stick to - for my health and well-being.

Flash back to my previous life...

June of 1996. It started with a phone call. I was still living at my parents' house when I was 23, and when my future husband was getting off of our phone call to "go for a run," I decided to take my dog for a walk. I was not an athlete by any stretch of the imagination. That summer, however, I was able to manage my exercise-induced asthma and walking turned into running. I was able to run a mile a couple of weeks later. I wanted to do this so my boyfriend and I would have more in common. Plus, I wondered why I'd never exercised prior to this. I didn't have any weight to lose - I just did it for the challenge. His next gift to me was a watch (Timex - Ironman), and suddenly he was coaching me like he did his clients. Yes. Tom was (is?) a personal trainer.

June of 1998. We were to be married in August. I wanted to run my first 10k under my maiden name. Tom found me a small race in Woodstock, IL (where I worked at the time). My goal = to finish. I ran alongside a woman who had run in a marathon before, but she was not too sure she could run the 6.2 miles that day. I told her I'd stick with her, if she'd stick with me. I held to that, and we were the last two runners that came in. (That race was when I learned about the ambulance that comes as the "sweeper.") My time = 72 minutes, 12 seconds. (Slower than any "run," but I finished!) As I sat down to cool off with my post-race popsicle, my name was called. Huh? Wha...? I'd won third place in my age group!

This was the catalyst for my chase for hardware.

This one was a fun one - and only one mile!

Tom taught me that "hardware" (plaques, trophies, etc. - of which I'd NEVER gotten) was easier gotten in small-town races. I started seeking them out.

August, 1998 - After the honeymoon. Momence IL was about a 2 hour drive for us in the morning, but it was a nice small 5k where I could collect more hardware. Bonus - it was an "out and back" course, so you could see the people who were ahead of you, and "pick them off" one by one on your way back to the finish. Tom usually ran his own races, but ran alongside me for this one, coaching me the entire way. "Look - she's in your age group. You can catch up to her." I won third place in my age group! This was the Momence Glad Run, where winners got beautiful gladiola flowers, as well as hardware.

For the next two years, I strived for more. For the next two years, we took the trek to Momence for this short run, and he ran alongside me, helping me pass by more and more women in my age group. "Just focus on that next runner. Get alongside her..." And I excelled in my quest for hardware, moving from third to first in my age group.

                                             Time: 26:56                                  Time: ??

                                                                     Time: 24:32

And the year I received 2nd place in this 5k was the same year I ran my marathon. In Alaska. For Team In Training. (Running 26 miles when I was 26 years old was very COOL. My time, however, was not - 5 hrs 58 minutes, when I'd been training for 4:30. Oh, what mountains will do to your time...) I was so new to running, that every race - every new challenge - became a personal record. How motivating!

These memories are strong. They came reeling back when I decided to clean out a bin that had been in the garage since I left my "old life" and came to this house in 2010. The bin was labeled "Things I don't know what to do with..."

Last week, I saw a tweet from Russ Anderson...

It was time, too, for me to purge. I obviously did not have all that Russ had - I only had a few from my twenties. I'll keep the medal from the Mayor's Midnight Sun Marathon in '99 - when I find it. I knew when I saw the plaques, that it was time to toss them - along with the years of running journals I'd pitched years ago - but the memories were so strong, I had to write about them first. What was the message I was going to get from this flood of memories? Where's my lesson that can apply to me now?

I need to stop chasing hardware.

My professional life is so much of my life. And, although I no longer run, I am still chasing "hardware." Notes from students, emails from parents, home-made gifts from students, being asked to present at conferences, accolades on Twitter for blog posts, the chapter in Best Lessons: Literature. I'm currently chasing after NBCT recertification, and I might ask a publisher or two to look at an outline I have for a book. 

With this chase comes disappointment. I am not new to the game of teaching. In my 21st year, it's impossible to get a PR with every action. When parents don't copy my principal on great emails that I hold dear to my heart, I feel a bit deflated. When someone posts something in their blog that I feel everyone already knows, and it's retweeted 20 times more than the post I wrote from my heart, my jealousy rises. This is WRONG. No. This is HUMAN. But I don't like the feeling. I feel like I should know better than that at this point in my life.

The lesson gets clearer to me with a message I received from a student yesterday. He "tagged" me on an Instagram picture of his shoes. (He has a thing for shoes.) 

"2015 wasn't the best year. The Broncos lost in the playoffs, the bulls lost in the playoffs, the packers lost in the playoffs, and the seahawks went to the super bowl. Isis is still here, so that sucks. Richard Sherman is still here, so that sucks too. But some things went alright. Gay marriage was legalized. The world showed that when one country is in need, they can count on another. It also showed that being different is not a wrong thing. I tagged people that made this year worth waiting 12 months."

The fact that he tagged me... that was a stellar moment for me. This young man is following 467 people. He is no longer in my class. Sometimes he pops in for a quick "hello," but I really haven't seen much of him this year. 

I got it.

And suddenly, it will be easy for me to toss out the plaques. 

I believe, as a result of interacting with educators on Twitter, I get too caught up in the "advertising" of our teaching. I get too caught up in "marketing" what we're doing online. I get too caught up in looking for the support, accolades, and recognition. I highlight what others say about the LiveBinder (or an actual quote!) in their books. I save what I produce or present on my online portfolio, the class website, and even a Google doc for my evaluation. I save uplifting parent emails in another Google doc. I save student notes in a scrapbook in my file cabinet. I put home-made gifts up in our classroom. Every school year, I sum up in a blog post what I've "done" that is valuable or precious during the year. Yes, these keepsakes are important to me. Yes, I should be proud and happy of what I've accomplished. BUT...

I need to focus even more on the people in room 239 and the hallways of my school. 

I need to focus on having even more one-on-one discussions with students. I need to focus what they say, not on what I want to say to them. During meetings, I need to listen with the intent to learn, and not as much with the intent to share or teach. I need to give my time, and not so much of my opinion. I need to lend an ear, and not so much advice.

My word for this next year is "gratitude," as it has been for the previous two years. I haven't gotten the most out of this feeling yet. I'm shifting the focus from grateful for all I have, to grateful for all the opportunities ahead of me. All the moments I can use to let others know they matter. I'm tired of chasing. I'll let moments come, and give them all I've got.

I love learning more about life as I get older. 

I now look forward to this new change in mindset.