Five Small Separations Between Work and Home

Inspired by Jordan Catapano's post - "Seven Small Separations Between Work and Home (and a few ways I break them)," I've decided to share five of my own.

Read home emails ONLY in the morning before school. My sister figured out to text me instead of emailing me.

Read work emails when I get to school, during team time (3rd period this year), during plan time (10th period), and before I go home. I do NOT read work emails at home during the school year.

Keep my phone away until lunch and then put it away again afterwards. 

  
Get as much work done as possible at work. I go in very early in the mornings, as I'm up early and like to drive early so I don't drive alongside rushed drivers. This alleviates stress for me. This may mean staying late one (or two?) day(s) a week to get a few more things completed. I also try my best to give feedback to student writing at school. This is a bit trickier, as I record it. So sometimes during our writing units, I work 1-4 hours on weekend mornings.

When it comes to "extra" work, or "fun" work, or work that seems more like a "hobby," such as social media, blogging, sharing ideas from my books, reading books about education, it gets a bit more tricky for me...

Set a time for these "fun" or "extra" bits of work.
Make a plan to help you decide when it's a good time or not. Here's my thinking process for when I get excited to do this extra work I enjoy:

For example, when it came to writing this post, I knew I could make the time, as Hubby was watching golf, and I was eating lunch (I like to multitask - a whole other habit to evaluate, right?!). I can eat and think while I type, tuning out the television in the next room of our cozy home. I also thought this post might be helpful to other educators (and thus helpful to their families, as well), so I thought it was a valuable use of my time. It took me about a half an hour, and then I had to save it as a draft to head out with my niece and nephew. I came back to it when I had another half hour (golf is on a lot) the next day.

Since COVID messed with our routine in March of 2020, I've noticed I do more with Hubby and family than with work. I put off more "extra" work than I used to, and made a priority to relax and be more in the moment. What's my ONE priority? My health - both mental and physical. Following this routine helps me do just that, which, in turn, helps my home and work life.

Mindfulness Work

Two More Books to Share...

If you know me at all, you know I'm reading for my mental health (self-help books and adult fiction and memoirs) as well as for my seventh graders (YA/MG books and nonfiction how-to books). Two books I just finished...

My notes for each --> Fully Present: The Science, Art, and Practice of Mindfulness

Awakened: Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Teaching

They helped me get through the last two weeks of April and this first week of May. My #OneWord for 2022 is "present," and Fully Present was an audiobook I received free for educators through Libro.fm. I learned through these two books to not judge myself when it comes to slipping up during mindfulness, so I forgave myself for listening to it while doing the dishes... ;) I did stop to take notes when I found a gem I wanted to keep. From this one, I was reminded of the myriad benefits of doing NOTHING for a few minutes each day. This means stopping to focus on my breathing, so I can be more in the moment, and less in the past or worrying about the future.

As for Awakened,* I re-read sections of this. I read the first 50 pages in on sitting, then thought of it during school/work the next day. When I got home, I read them again. This is not something I usually do. The next night, I read them again and then summarized them in my own words. I decided my notes for this one would be summaries first, and then I'd fill it in with specific quotes I wanted to look back on later. Because I'm so invested in making my mind healthier, I have all of my self-help / optimism / mindfulness / joy book notes printed out and put into a binder. Those I actually read again every so often when I need a boost / reminder. I love seeing repeated ideas throughout the binder. One other book that won't be in the binder that I've been reading daily is The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. It's got a lot of the same ideas about how to be mindful, controlling your own thoughts, and not letting influences (from all over) change who you want to be. 

These two books have solidified a few things for me.

1. It is up to ME how I feel. My thoughts control my feelings. I can take control of my thoughts.
2. Worries, anxieties, fears ... they're all FUTURE based. When I focus on the present, they go away.
3. When I ruminate about the past, I make those thoughts worse and more concrete, making them harder to go away. I need to remind myself that the other person involved is most likely NOT thinking of those moments now and it's only hurting me. It could even be hurting my physical health.
4. Stop and think of each current thought. Does it do you any good? If not, let it go or replace it. Just because it's a thought, doesn't mean it's true, and it doesn't mean it's important right now. Plant the seeds of positive thoughts - you'll reap later what you sow now.
5. It's going to take a lot of time and practice to change your thinking. All our life we're inundated by images and words that influence us. It's time for me to start taking control of what I want influencing me.

I loved being immersed in the language around mindfulness and controlling my own thoughts. Hearing it from one book, reading it in the other, then following up with a quick meditation that helped me to breathe evenly and put me to sleep each night (the Calm app) really helped some of these ideas stick.

Calm App...

    This tool may still be free to educators, I hope. I'm on a streak right now of about two weeks. I've been hearing the same ideas from the two books in the app (words such as "catastrophize" and ideas such as reframing my thoughts). Just last night, after I'd taken some notes about how our thoughts are seeds, I get this one to listen to before bed:

Online Resources...

    UCLA's MARC Site

        It includes a link to their app: UCLA Mindful

     Changing Thoughts with an AI Assistant

        The questions / process:

1. What negative thought are you struggling with right now? (You can choose or type an answer.)
2. What's a recent situation that led to this negative thought?
3. Select the thinking trap. (I really like this one - it shows possible thinking traps, such as "fortune telling," "overgeneralizing," "negative feeling or emotion," and "all-or-nothing thinking," and these change based on what you've put in for your answer. It suggests what it thinks you're doing. The AI here seems to be spot on - at least the two times I tried it.)
4. Reframe your thinking. (First it tells you - based on what you chose as the thinking trap - a tip for how to overcome that thinking trap. Then it gives you space to type in your own reframing thoughts, and it also gives you three options it came up with. You can even click "Show more reframes" !!) Once you choose or write one, it asks you to see if you can make it more positive, realistic, or helpful. I changed one word of mine - "can" to "will" - you can see my final reframe in the photo below.)
5. Evaluate the activity. (You do not need to do this. It's part reflection, part info for the AI, I'll bet. There is another section after that which is an optional survey.)
1. I filled out the survey and was rewarded with a summary (which I didn't know I was going to get - this is much better than the screenshots I took)! Too bad you have to fill out the survey to get it, but maybe you can just click "next" without filling it out...

     Overcoming Negative Thoughts

        The questions they use on this site are simple - so much so that you don't need the site:

1. What negative thought are you struggling with?
2. Where does this negative thought come from?
3. If your friend was dealing with the same negative thought, what would you say to help them feel more hopeful? (I love this question!)
4. What do you need to say or do so you can truly believe the more hopeful thought?

Conclusion

Of course, I've read many more books on optimism and joy and how to be happy during the fall and winter of the 2020-2021 school year. My post from June of 2021 about those books is here. What makes these different? The lessons are finally STICKING. I was in class the other day saying in my head, "Dismiss. Distract..." and then I focused on something else instead of that worrying/annoying/not helpful thought. Maybe they're sticking because I've read so many with the same ideas. I'll take it. And I'll probably keep reading more. What I want to do first, however, is to practice meditating for 5-10 min a day without falling asleep to it... Taking 5-10 min out of my day to let negative thoughts appear and then dismiss them can only be beneficial.

I will keep learning and practicing. With time and effort, I can learn to recognize and manage negative thoughts.

*One thing I have to add about Awakened... Page 1 starts on the left side of the book. This was at first a source of aggravation for me. By the time I finished the book, my mindset had shifted. I now wonder what other books start that way?

Another New Learning Experience

Jury Duty... Seven days total.

I was so distraught the Wednesday I found out I might have to be on a jury starting that Friday and for what the judge said could be one week long. How the heck was I supposed to hear a woman's trauma surrounding an attempted rape and murder AND even think of making sub plans for what could be a different sub every day or even every class period? I had a huge headache and I was going to miss our first field trip in three years (my ONE DAY out of the classroom with my students this year) and I was crying on the L ride home. I thought the huge surprises that the pandemic had brought us were done. I thought that routine was back in my life. I was suddenly jolted out of any routine and thrust into the unknown.

Being able to go to school Thursday was such a blessing. I was able to talk to my students about the possibility of me missing our field trip the next day and then being out for what could be an entire week. More importantly to my own sanity, I was able to express my fear about not being able to do it all to my coworkers. My friend & co-planner said she'd take care of it. She said I didn't have to write sub plans for every day. She said she could decide the plans, print out the slides we'd use in class, and talk with the sub about how many minutes each activity should take. I found out I'd have one sub for the Monday through Thursday, and if needed, a different one for Friday. I even had that substitute's email address, as he'd subbed for me the day prior for jury selection. That Thursday was such a blessing to have - and my friend & co-planner's help was such a blessing the entire week. That Thursday, I had some of the best sleep I've had in ages, knowing that the work part of my life would be taken care of.

And I learned - I learned so much.

1. I need to be taken out of my comfort zone every once in awhile. The pandemic teaching in 20-21 took me WAY out of my comfort zone for so long - oh so many unexpected changes! - that as soon as this new routine was threatened, I was so upset. I reacted poorly. I made it a much larger deal than it actually was. I spent too much time so stressed about it.
2. I need to ask for help when I'm struggling. My friend/co-planner was ready to help at a moment's notice. She seemed as if she WANTED to help. I needed it, and she provided it.
3. I am better with a "gradual release of responsibility" than with taking it all on at once. Hubby drove me to the CTA L station Wednesday and Friday, and I learned the L system of tickets and stops. Monday I was able to drive myself, and I learned about the parking payment system at the CTA station. Each day of the week, something different happened that was out of the ordinary, and each day I was able to figure it out. (One day the L I was on was "express," one day I didn't get a ticket when I came IN to park and the gate was wide open, one day I got on an L that didn't go as far as I needed, and on the last day, I almost missed my stop because the announcement was one stop late and I was so immersed in writing notes about what I wanted to say at deliberations.)
4. I love being told one direction at a time. It's easy to follow. I had to get to the Daley Center downtown Chicago by 9:15. I had to take off my jacket and belt and put those and my backpack through the metal detector. I had to be in room 1604 at 9:30. When I got there, I was told to sign in and fill out a lunch slip. When I was done with that, I was told to get my notebook and wait. When I was escorted to the court room, I was told to take my stuff with me. When I was in court, I was asked to sit down. Since the day of jury selection, I knew I would not be speaking, so all I was expected to do was listen and keep an open mind. At a break, I was asked to stand up and follow the deputy back to the other room. It was also suggested we use the washroom. I did - every time. No one knew how long each day - or each time in the courtroom - would be. No one knew how many days it would be. No one knew which two of us (we were 14 total) would be alternates. No one knew when lunch would come. We were only told what we needed to know, and it was easy to follow. At the end of the day, we were provided our $17.20 check (which I'm grateful covered the $7 of parking and $5 L ticket). I appreciated the simple directions.
5. We all need to get out of our own "boxes" at times. In the courtroom, I was immersed in the situation. I was listening to and looking at the same people every day (with a number of different witnesses thrown in). Everything revolved around the case. Outside the Daley Center, I was surrounded by unknowns. People everywhere. Each one has their own stories they bring to this life. Each one was heading somewhere, for some reason unknown to me. Each one was thinking different things, feeling different things, experiencing different things. In the buildings surrounding me, I was wondering how many people were in them and what they were doing at that moment. I am always amazed when I'm in a large group of people or drivers or passengers on public transportation at the countless - COUNTLESS - number of stories people have in their lives. It's humbling. It takes the focus off of me and any issues I may have. It puts my own tiny existence into perspective.
6. Bias can truly be hidden. At the selection of the jury, before the trial began, and again before deliberations started, the judge and the lawyers had us swear that bias or any preconceived notions of the witnesses would NOT factor into our decision as to who was at fault. I knew this. Obvious, right? I'm trying to practice this daily. I've been more aware of my biases since the summer of reflection in 2020, and I swore that I would not let bias factor into my decision. I believe it did, however, make me hear or not hear one crucial piece of evidence... There were eight of us that favored the defense when we started deliberating. Four of us were adamant at one point Thursday afternoon that one of the witnesses was caught lying. I was aghast, as was the juror next to me. We both said, "If I'd have heard that, I would've noted it - instead, I noted it was his word against the other witness!" Everyone left at 5pm Thursday, and we were in a deadlock on one of the four points we had to consider. I arrived home 90 min later, exhausted. Over the course of the evening, I thought of a book I'd read called Think Again by Adam Grant. I believe it was in that book where I read that we are wrong 50% of the time (when arguing about something). We all may think we're right, but obviously some of us are wrong. One tactic he suggested was to consider that I was totally wrong, and that the opposite was actually true. So... how could the other side believe they'd heard that evidence?? Maybe they heard something that was objected by the other side and we should not have let that into our brain. Maybe they saw something on the screen that had to be taken down because the other side had objected... If that was NOT true... how could I be wrong? Maybe I had let my bias of the counsel affect what I was hearing. I heard the witness answer "I do not recall," and I wrote down that it was his word against the first witness's word. Maybe I hadn't heard the next part because I was biased toward the defense even at jury selection. As I reflected, I realized that before I even knew anything about the witnesses or what this case was even about, I had thoughts in my head about the two lawyers themselves. The plaintiff's lawyer was a big, strong, pointing-at-people man. I saw him as a bully. I saw him as a money grubber. The defense's lawyer was a lanky, scrawny, mess-with-his-glasses man, and I saw him as the underdog. I stand up to bullies and I support underdogs. When holding up my right hand, I only thought of the witnesses, not the counsel. I didn't think that bias should come into play... it may have. It may have for me, and it may have for the other four that were adamant they heard that evidence.  When deliberating the next day, I asked everyone to write down their bias (even ever so slight) they had before we even heard any testimony. I didn't ask, but what if... what if we all were on the side we leaned toward in the slightest bit at the end of the trial, as well? I shared that the "bully" lawyer cemented my decision when he was pointing at us in his closing arguments and telling me how many millions of dollars I'd write down on the paper. I asked for hands to see who believed they heard the witness - in front of us - say (whatever I'm not going to go into details for here)... and at least six of us did. So, I changed my mind on the first point. Other jurors thanked me for sharing what I'd been thinking, and we moved on with discussions. I truly believe that my bias towards the lawyers hindered my listening skills in the court room. 

My little lessons this past week - such as knowing which cars will be less stinky on the L and how to get around downtown easily - were numerous. It was my larger lessons, however, that made the week totally worth it. I feel proud that I didn't try to get out of jury duty, and I feel as if we made a good decision in the end. I feel that maybe, in this one case, justice was served, and I'm proud I was a part of it.

One of my views every day from the 16th floor of the Daley Center

Lessons I'm Using - Revisited

I headed into this school year knowing I learned a TON last year. I learned about how to better take care of myself, and I learned about how to teach better (which came from taking better care of myself - fancy that...)! I was ready for the challenges ahead!

And then the school year started.

And it was still extremely difficult.

I had thought the struggles from last year were behind us. I didn't think to expect brand new struggles that we really hadn't encountered before. So... I needed to really focus on the lessons I thought I had learned...

I had a plan to tweet them to share with my peers. I had sixty of them, and I'd choose which I thought would fit the week, then schedule them on my Tweetdeck. This was my post introducing them, these are the actual tweets (with my "first day of hybrid" photo), and this is the spreadsheet I kept modifying with my original lessons. Once the school year started, I was able to go slowly, setting up a routine, helping everyone get to know each other better, and trying to stay mentally healthy. Sharing the lessons was helping me focus on my ONE priority: my health (mental and physical).

A few weeks in, and I started to feel the strain.

Although the lessons I kept revisiting did help me in those moments, I was still losing sight of what I wanted to learn... I was still losing sight of who I wanted to BE as a teacher... and as a person.

This week, I printed out the lessons I had shared for the first sixty days with students this school year. (Day 60 for me was Wednesday.) I decided there were too many. I needed lessons that encompassed what all of these were saying. Here's how that looked on my living room floor (do other teachers work on their living room floors??):

I found six themes.

I had lessons about breathing and being present. I had lessons about listening and relationships. I had lessons about gratitude and attitude. I had lessons about life changes and struggles. And I also had practical lessons I can incorporate every day and others I can incorporate into my school day. I will keep working on the lessons in these last two categories until they become habitual.

Going forward, I will focus on these four important actions:

1. Be present in each moment by taking time to stop... and breathe. This will slow me down and make me more effective at whatever I'm trying to do.
2. Listen. This will help me to be more present, stop, and breathe (#1). It will also help those to whom I'm listening.
3. When I'm sad, mad, frustrated, or just not doing well, I need to practice gratitude. This will, once again, slow me down (#1), listen (#2), and be reminded of how fortunate I am.
4. Remind myself - Life provides many opportunities for me to practice these lessons. It will have its ups and downs, I will feel like this again, and if I am present in each moment, I will be living fully.

I believe these four actions will help me be the person I want to be. One of the lessons I learned about life is that I'm always becoming who I am - and who I want to be. I will keep trying. I will surely fail some days. And I will try to learn something from each challenge.

Lessons I'm Using

This blog... it's been all over the place. It's true to it's name, however, for I am CONSTANTLY learning. Life has offered up many challenges and time for reflection and then time to put to use what I'm learning.

My first week of the 2021-2022 (2022?!) school year is finished. We had three days with staff only and two days with hallways jam-packed with students. I'm tired, and I'm happy.

Usually when I think I "learn" something, I go ahead and make that same mistake again. I kick myself in the pants and get frustrated that I didn't actually "learn" that lesson. For my first sixty days with students, I'll be sharing #LessonsLearnedDuringPandemicTeaching via Twitter - one per day. I know I'm going to make more mistakes, but I think I may have actually learned these things I've done each day this past (first) week...

Five Lessons Learned that I'm Actually Using:

Stay hydrated - I drank all the water in my huge water bottle!

Don't use time to complain - I don't think I complained about anything. At one point, I sympathized with another teacher (or group? I can't remember), but I didn't add my own two cents. Instead, I shared what I liked about the new situation.

I can't help in some situations, and I have to be okay with that - This lesson was brought home by Mandy Froehlich in one of her presentations or articles shared awhile back. Last year, I let everyone else's stress become mine. My stress hangs out in my shoulders, then leads to migraines that made teaching more difficult than it already is. This year, I listen, maybe ask a question, then note in my mind that this is not for me to fix. If I think of something that can help, I'll share, but many people just want an ear that listens. I can do that, and then I can move on to what is important in my own life. I haven't needed pain medication yet this year.

Be Present - I know some people balk at the "Teach Like a Pirate" gig Dave Burgess has going on. I don't think they've read the book or heard him speak. (I wouldn't have asked the Burgesses to publish my own books if I didn't believe in the message.) The "I" in his pirate acronym is for "Immersion." When I read the book, that was the one lesson I thought I took away from it. I knew I'd have to be my best in EVERY class, not just the classes before lunch. I just had to immerse myself in the moments. I'd gotten away from this lesson, however, and now I'm back! I need to immerse myself in every moment. Be present in every moment. Good or bad, happy or sad, I need to LIVE it. This past week, I didn't multitask. I gave my full attention to what was going on around me. I soaked it in. It was good for me.

Go slow / Take things as they come - There were a couple of times I wanted to tell the kids something else that was related to something we were sharing, but I let it be. The kids dictated what came next, and I was still able to share that bit of information, just at a later time. Another time, a student came to me asking about his locker right when the starting bell rang for class. I used to stress about these things. Instead, I followed him to his locker. It took me less than a minute to help, and when I got back to the room, no one had hurt themselves - or anyone else. So far, so good.

I don't regret anything I did or said this week. The start of this school year, masked, full classes and hallways, has been just dandy. I'm looking forward to putting more lessons to work for me in my 27th year of teaching!

Mental Health Lessons Learned from Books Read During Pandemic Teaching

 ...and in order to keep coming back to them, I'm writing them into one post.

These first three books I read prior to the pandemic. The lessons I remembered from them helped me during the pandemic.

Fewer Things, Better - 1) Check email only at one or two certain times per day. (This did NOT work during remote and hybrid teaching!) This goes for a TON of apps and websites, actually - it helps me be more present in each moment. 2) What do I want my legacy to be? Do that. 3) Who says you have to (insert job here - ex: send home weekly updates to parents)? Many of the rules I follow are my OWN. I probably don't even need to (insert job here - ex: this past school year I sent monthly updates to parents). What pressures have I put on myself that I can make easier for myself? My original reflection is HERE. 

The Zen Teacher - 1) Do one thing for myself every day. 2) Be present in the moments - the still and chaotic moments. 3) Declutter a part of your life - get rid of what you don't need and/or what you're not using. My original reflection is HERE. 

Teaching Well - 1) When we are the most overwhelmed with work is when we NEED to stop and take care of ourselves - put away the work, get some exercise, water and sleep, and experience a bit of your life outside the classroom walls. Psychologist Simone McCreary - "There is plenty of evidence that we do better in our career when we make self-care a priority... Regular physical activity activates our neuroplasticity, which increases our creativity and focus. Exercise rejuvenates our willpower" (16). 2) David Irvine - "Self-care is a responsibility. If we don't take care of ourselves, we eventually won't be able to carry the responsibility of caring for others" (18). There will always be work - the work for teachers does not end. My original reflection is HERE.   Another reflection on these first three books is HERE.

The next few books are in order of when I read them.

The Other Half of Happy by Barcarcel - "...we are all unfinished. And unfinished is fine."

Hearts Unbroken by Smith - "Every breath is a victory."

How to Disappear Completely by Standish - "...the battles we fight always change us. When we are fighting them, all we can see is how they wound us. But they can change us for the better, too."

Essentialism - The word "priority" was intended to be singular. What's my ONE priority? My health - mental and physical. Everything I decide to do (or not do) should be good for my health. My original reflection is HERE. 

The Canyon's Edge by Bowling- "Being alive means / sorrow, joy, pain, love, anger. / Feeling all the things."

Learned Optimism - 1) Being pessimistic can make me physically sick, as it actually lowers my immunity. Therefore, it's unhealthy to use my time ruminating on bad moments or situations. Know that what I'm going through (bad OR good) is temporary. 2) Have hope, and make practicing gratitude a habit. My original reflection is HERE. 

Strange the Dreamer by Taylor - "And that's how you go on. You lay laughter over the dark parts. The more dark parts, the more you have to laugh. With defiance, with abandon, with hysteria, any way you can."

Untamed by Doyle - I've felt this way before, and I'll feel this way again. Notice the feelings, feel them, and then consider, "What do I do next?" Act on it.

The Book of Joy - 1) I can only do so much. Although I can't change the world today, I can make a difference with one, two, or even more students EACH day. 2) Practice gratitude and compassion - I'm excited to find ways for my students to practice compassion, as well. My original reflection is HERE.

Efrén Divided by Cisneros - "Somehow, you just do what needs to be done... whether it's fair to you or not."

What I'll Keep and What I Hope We Toss

I keep feeling the need to document my thoughts about this past year. I feel the need to make it into a HUGE learning opportunity. Sooo, not including things I normally do, such as music and a soft start at the beginning of each class...

Here's what I plan to toss, or things I hope go far, far away...

• changing plans and schedules all year (see timeline in my blog post) ✔
• spraying tables ✔
• cheap toppling tray tables (kids call them ironing boards) ✔
• individual tables facing front in rows
• taking attendance online every class period
• car parades for graduating students (if we're having graduations)
• students at home and in person in each of our classes ✔
• quarantined kids at home on Zoom (although this might be easier than them leaving for two weeks and coming back after having a "remote teacher...")  ✔
• masks 🤞🏻

Here's what I hope to keep, or what I hope stays...

• (Look through my self-help books for notes!!)
• keep my physical and mental health my ONE priority
• be fully present in each moment
• drink a ton of water
• three deep breaths with eyes closed when I'm upset
• do not read work emails outside of work time (except for Sunday around dinner time)
• one intention per week
• listen more than I talk
• routine
• organized plans / easily found
• digital absent folder ✔
• free lunches for students ✔
• virtual staff meetings
• practice gratitude with my students
• postcards sent to students' houses
• small, mobile tables (instead of the big tables they took away)
• no need for lockers - fewer disruptions and clean ups
• me using the washroom during independent reading (if needed)
• velcro dots on carpet
• mood meter and / or Jamboard check in (on Mondays, especially)
• asking students what they feel they need to discuss, then providing the time and space for them to do so (while I facilitate and keep my opinions to myself)
• walks around the building when it's nice - walk and talk?
• big chunks of plan time
• when something bugs me, do not ruminate - act - do something for myself or others
• my shield - to protect against parent ire

What I hope to do that I didn't get to do this year...

• Establish expectations from the start. With the FIVE changes we had this past year, we didn't have time to establish them well.
• Try some sort of genius hour or choice research project.
• Keep a good attitude amongst staff and online (At least I did well in front of the students!)
• Find ways to practice compassion with my students.
• No grade in the grade book until the end of the term. I felt like such a hypocrite this year, even if it was probably easier on me and my students by using grades.

Here are some other posts I'd like to curate here for my own refreshers... what did other educators learn? I'll be adding more as I come across them:

Writing Teacher Melanie Meehan

What teachers have done this past year.

Look at All We've Gained During the Pandemic

5 Things I Liked About Pandemic Education (HS Student)

Why Remote Learning Would Have Been Perfect for Me

Day 365 - Lessons Learned

My district shut down our schools at the end of the day a year ago today. We've had students in the building since October 12th (minus an outbreak shutdown), and we've been "all in" (still teaching remote students concurrently) since January 19, 2021. The teacher across the hall has as many as 24 students in class at one time (with more on Zoom).

Anyway... I started writing in my velvet-covered journal I've had since 2000 (along with this blog), and I've got a few pages dedicated to lessons I've learned during the lockdown and the year we've just been through. Some are sentences, and some are fragments. I wanted to document them on my blog, as well. Sticking to the order they were written, here they are (so far):

• Some (most?) people are social beings.
• I respond well to praise.
• what "social distancing" is
• how to host a Zoom meeting
• how to record and upload using Zoom or QuickTime
• Don't ask Hubby for anything for at least 20 min after his nap.
• I'm comfortable with myself.
• what a "skin" is in golf (5/17/20 - Live golf is on TV!)
• Challenges are good for us. They help us grow.
• what a friend is
• I've got few solid friends. The rest I'm letting go.
• It feels good to reach out.
• I'm not a sociable person - I'm doing okay without all the contact. A few people I can let in. I can even tell them - we just disagree.
• I love writing when I have something to write about. (Hence this blog, Shift This, and Word Shift.) The kids need space to write about something they want to write about!
• Sometimes I can change my ways (writing in a calendar/planner in pencil).
• how to make hot milk cake
• You have to click on the bell in order to get a notification for YouTube accounts you subscribe to.
• how to use WeVideo
• how to make Instagram stories
• to appreciate even more (how can that be?) ... like a new jar of peanut butter or a new jar of olives
• Hubby doesn't enjoy "heavy" movies.
• When I get into something, I really need to learn and share more. It becomes pretty all-encompassing.
• I realized that there are so many things I love doing! (Thanks to the box challenge from Karen.)
• I'm going back to some of the things I used to love years ago.
• how to put GIFs on/in my texts
• Staying positive - with helpful links - is the way to go on Twitter.
• specific ways to be anti-racist
• how to put my gifs of me into a slideshow
• to be happy with who I am - as long as I'm trying my best
• I have a confident presence on Zoom calls (so I've been told).
• A haircut is a luxury - and can make you feel whole again.
• I'll never go back to long hair (if I can help it).
• I can leave spider webs alone (outside).
• I can NOT scratch mosquito bites.
• I enjoy simply sitting outside and observing. Just being.
• I enjoy simply watching the birds at the backyard feeder.
• I don't want to ride my bike to and from school if it's as stressful as the one time I rode home from school this summer. Plus, I have a vehicle I love to drive.
• I have a few really good friends outside of Hubby.
• A card in the mail goes a long way - for the sender and the receiver.
• Hubby and I miss restaurants because we like to sit at the bar and chat with the bartenders and other patrons - and hot food served to us is a luxury.
• to NOT talk politics with my parents
• I love our sycamore tree.
• A friend of mine feels better when I can get her laughing.
• Everyone has their own preference for masks, set up, teaching, etc.
• how to teach remotely - Zoom, doc camera, projecting, making connections, etc. (Remember, friends, when some of us said we'd rather take a year off than teach remotely?!?!)
• Have ONE priority. The word was meant to be singular. Mine = my health (physical & mental) Everything else has to come after that.
• "I did my part," quote from Hubby. I only have to worry about what I do.
• to do what I think I should do.
• When you open a document, wait for it to load before you start to scroll down - it will save you tons of frustration and be easier on your elbow. (It also gives you time to breathe.)
• how to get addicted post to TikTok
• If someone can sober up in 2020, I can continue to have a positive outlook and do what's right.
• Actions speak louder than words.
• Raise up / amplify BIPOC voices.
• Compliment others.
• Learn something from big challenges like this has been.
• how to play Among Us
• Children like to be in school.
• A walk outside is so good for my soul.
• I need to recognize others' feelings.
• When I next meet or talk with someone who is crabby, I'll be sorry that they're in a bad place. I recognize that bad place now - where nothing good happens. I've been there. I can stop and listen.
• Having worry, being in pain, problems with friends... those all weigh on people. When it happens to me, they make me dis- or mis-trust. Our principal told me in September... she always assumes best intent. Assume the kids want to do good.
• That feeling you have now? It will go away. And it will most likely come back again. And I'll have the ability to survive all the changes. I have the tools. 
• Listening to others makes them feel good.
• Songs I can dance to make me feel good.
• I CAN put down the phone. I do not use up all my will power at work. There is always more.
• I don't miss presenting; I do miss sharing my "why" for things I believe with other educators.
• I cannot wait for others to do something for me - only I can help myself. It's up to me.
• Taking one or two deep breaths in the classroom helps me focus on what's important.
• It's human to not know what I'm doing, to hurt, to be happy, to FEEL. I'm going through all the feels. This is called "living."
• It's okay if that life is hard. We can do hard things.
• I don't have to waste time worrying what others think of me. I just have to like who I am becoming. I will always be becoming. It's a journey that continues every day.
• I will make mistakes. I hope I learn from them.
• I, personally, learn the most through my mistakes. Although I hope I make fewer and fewer, I will always love learning.

Photo shared by friend Andi Kornowski, linked to Positive Energy+

Specific Ways I Will Be an Ally

I've been writing this blog post all summer. It was going to be titled "Specific Ways I Will Be Anti-Racist in School This Year" until I quickly realized I need to be this way ALL THE TIME. EVERYWHERE. Writing it for all to see will not only hold me accountable, but I hope it will help you, reader, with tools you can use alongside me, as an ally to our children and peers of color. I do not have all the answers. What I have here is a beginning.

From today-years-old, I pledge to do the following:

When I hear something from a peer that doesn't sit right with me, I will stop whatever I'm doing.
I will say calmly, "I'm uncomfortable with something that was said."

If I hear it in the classroom, I will stop whatever we're doing.
I will say calmly, "I just felt something shift in the room. I wonder if anyone else felt it."

I may follow up with any of the following:

• Who else was uncomfortable?
• Why do you think I am (or "we are") uncomfortable?
• I don't find that funny.
• We don't use hurtful words in our school.
• I'm surprised to hear you say that.
• That statement was racist. Why do you think it would be racist?
• What do you mean by that?
• Tell me more.
• What point are you trying to make by saying that?
• Did you mean for that statement to be hurtful?
• Using that word (or those words) doesn't help others feel safe or accepted here.
• I'm having a "yeah, but" moment - can you help me work through it?
• I need time to process. Let's come back to that in a moment.
• Do these words unsettle you? I have some resources if you're willing to learn more and be more comfortable talking about it in the near future.
• We wake up each morning and want to do what's right for our students. Let's focus on the impact those words could have on all of our students.
• Let's confront challenges together, even when they're uncomfortable.

Besides using the language above...

• I will have these phrases ready (literally in my pocket).
• If someone else speaks up before me, I will echo their message with support.
• I will ask students how they want to feel in our class. We will curate their answers and make a plan as to how we can accomplish this. I will share my responses with students (above), so they have tools for helping our classroom be all we want it to be.
• I will provide students phrases to use when they feel prejudice against them, such as, "I don't feel good when you say that" or "I don't feel respected right now."
• When I provide book talks, I will add descriptions of the authors. For example, I may say, "The author of this book, ____ is a cisgendered Black American woman." Calling out the authors will let students know that anyone can become a writer, let students know that I support writers of all races, genders, etc., and it will help me make sure my classroom library becomes even more diverse. 
• When students are in partners or groups, I will ask them to first find out a difference they have with each other, and then something they have in common.
• I will post a message that says, "Black Lives Matter." I want my students of color to know they matter to me just as much as everyone else. I want them to know our class (in-person and virtual) is a safe space. (Thank you for pointing that out in a webinar on Aug. 6, 2020, Dr. Tron Young.)
• I will create a space of curiosity - where we all have room to learn from multiple sources, especially each other's stories.
• I hope to have an activity or writing prompt where I can ask students, "Share your earliest memory of race" or "When where you first instructed about race" or "When did being your race first impact you" or "How has being your race impact you?" (I'd love help with wording this one.)
• I will work towards finding a way students can change the skin tone of their "reactions" via Zoom, so we see our differences in color in multiple ways.
• I will use Rudine Sims Bishop's idea of "Mirrors, Windows, and Sliding Glass Doors."
• When we are discussing ideas for school, I will inquire as to which perspectives we're missing.
• I will continue to read (voraciously) and share perspectives of BIPOC.

If I do not speak up against biases or prejudices, it means I condone it.

I will make mistakes.

I will work towards being comfortable - with being uncomfortable.

I will renew my pledge to be an ally and to be anti-racist each and every day.

I will continue to strive to be a better person and better educator.

Resources I've used to help me with what I plan to say or do:

• Speak Up at School
• Use Media to Teach Better, Know Better (PBS)
• White Fragility Reading Guide
• On Race, Being White, and Education Right Now
• Mindset Changes Needed for More Equitable Schools
• Flipgrid Community Panel Discussion on Race, Equity, and Justice
• So You Want to Talk about Race by Ijeoma Oluo
• This Book Is Anti-Racist... by Tiffany Jewel

Would you like to join me in this pledge? Put your name in the comments below, along with your Twitter handle, and I'll connect with you once a month to see how we're doing and where we can use more guidance.

Day 77 - Lesson Learned

Friday, May 29, 2020

It wasn't like any "last day" I've ever had at school. Well, yes, there was crying, but for different reasons... I think. Maybe it's the same reason... I cry when they're sad. They were definitely sad today.

My first class meeting that started at 11:00 had the fewest attendees. At the end, one quietly asked, "Mrs. Kirr, are we going to go back to school next year?"

I almost lost it right then. (I mean, how dramatic am I, right?!)

Instead, I calmly said, "I really don't know... Your parents got an email today saying that the district will be preparing for three different scenarios. All of us back at school, a mixture of a bit at school and a bit at home, or all at home." The looks on their faces. That's what broke the tears over the threshold. I let them know I've loved their tough questions, and I encouraged them to keep having the tough conversations.
     The movie for that class...

During my second class meeting at 11:30, one student was monopolizing the time. This student also asked / stated, "Doesn't this prove that school work can be done in two and a half hours?"

Since this one didn't do the work for the last three weeks, I responded with, "I think school WORK can be done in two and a half hours. How long did yours take YOU?" I just got a smirk in return.
     The movie for this class...

----------
My ramblings that led to my lesson for this crazy messed up 2019-2020 school year:

My last class is the one in which we had the deepest, most important (in my mind) discussions while IN school. We also got to go outside more than the other two classes! This was the class that I told this year they'd be my favorite. We have a teacher at our school - Mrs. Kathy Stutzman - who was my keyboarding teacher when I was in high school! Her class was in my room after my last block (I had 8 & 9, and she had 10th in that room). She'd seen my frustrations and how that class would get on my nerves. She knew I had fewer nerves to begin with at the end of the day, too. She told me a story. When she realized that her last class would be her hardest every year, she decided to tell them at the start of the next year that they were going to be her FAVORITE CLASS.

I had my doubts, but I knew it couldn't hurt. Also, I had reasons it would be the best class of my day... 1) It was at the end of the day, so I knew better how the lesson should go and what I can cut. 2) We could go outside on the days it was nice!  3) We'd usually have more time (due to what I could cut), so we could chat about what THEY wanted to chat about.

I think the prophecy came true, Mrs. Stutzman. You've taught me once again, for my 25th year of teaching. I will be forever grateful. I know more about the children in this class than any other, and I believe we ALL had a solid relationship. This class was brutally honest with each other, AND they had each others' backs. I believe each one of them grew socially. This was my biggest attendance today at noon.
     The movie for my favorite 8/9 block EVER...

The reason the tears came today... is because my seventh graders (now 8th) are still only twelve or thirteen. They have so much innocence, even through the veil of maturity. Many of them rely on a school building for their social life. They're going to miss each other more than anyone they've missed in a long time. I'm going to believe it was due to the expectations I set out for them from the start.

I'm aware that many schools, or better yet, the way we "do school," has to change. It has to become more relevant to the children. It has to stop being about memorization. It has to be a collaborative effort. I believe, as well, that it has to be together - in person. Our children of all ages need socialization. Our children of all ages need to ask and be able to discuss complicated issues. Our children of all ages need to share supplies. Our children of all ages need to move around. Zoom (or Google Meets or whatever you're using) cannot replace in-person communication. This will NOT be the way of the future.

Me trying a virtual background today...

Total side note: 
Maybe it's time for middle schools and high schools to start later in the day!!

Gratitude Chain

It's the first year we've tried this. I didn't know how it would work out. I think it worked the best with our homeroom class...

The first Thursday in November we started the idea of a gratitude chain to hang up in the classroom. One student said for every meal her family sits down to in November, they share one thing they're grateful for. The students and my co-homeroom teachers and I decided that anyone could write on a link of the chain, but they could not repeat the same thing they've written before. We also decided that you didn't have to share it aloud with the class - we'd take the chain down before winter break and share each one aloud. No names were needed.

My ELA classes wanted to try it, as well, so we started a chain for each period. The room looked very festive for a bit (I regret we didn't get a photo of the chains hanging), two were a bit destroyed at one point, and then they were put back up. Some links were mixed with the other classes due to this, so I made sure every child was represented when we shared (each child's name was on a link - one student in each class did this for us). My middle class added a bunch of tiny ones in a frenzy one day (socks, Yeezys, paper, pencils, pens, chairs, etc.), so we added a new "rule" the next week - we can only write things we feel grateful for that don't cost any money.

Below is a list of the ones from our homeroom chain I brought home. I had added my own, but these below were from the students.

I'm thankful...

• I don't have to wear my knee brace
• I found a good book
• my brother likes me
• I have a supportive family
• for school, friends, family, dance, music, shelter, clothes, rain/snow
• for good family and friends
• for friends that care about me
• for a house
  
• for trees
• for education
• for Mother Nature
• for books
• for sports
• for my homeroom
• for clean water
• for all our veterans
• for police officers
• for firefighters
• for teachers
• for doctors and nurses
• for kind people
• for my family being so fortunate
• that the doctors found the cancer in my mom and got it of her
• for my ability to learn and stay optimistic
• for having people who believe in me
• for the people who hear me out that rats are better than what you think
• my grandpa has been cancer free for almost eight years
• for a good friend being still alive after a serious brain injury
• for all the positive energy that surrounds me on a day-to-day basis
• for being able to have food, shelter, and everything I have
• for everything in general
• I have teachers that are willing to listen
• for people that guide you in the right direction

And an eighth grader (who was new to our district last year and regularly visits our room) found out what we were doing... He added this one:

"im thankful for the education"

We'll be doing this again. For sure.

Is This Trauma?

I wrote these thoughts as new thoughts emerged over the week. I've now gone through it and am ready to click "publish."

The day of the incident:
I cried at lunch.
I cried on my way home.
I cried to my husband.
I played dodgeball - ran around like a nut, threw with all my might like a wimp, saw stars at one point, had a hissy fit on the floor of the gym, yelled, screamed, played my heart out, and slept deeply when I hit the pillow.

"Day after" morning:
Woke with thoughts of the incident.
Cried in the shower.
Figured I should talk, so shared it with Hubby.
Cried a bit more through the morning.
Thoughts throughout the day, trying to figure it out:

I used to be prepared to handle students when they acted out in this fashion. I used to say, "You can't show fear. You have to show them who's in control." I had a first grader who would bite and kick. When I was starting out teaching in my 20s, I was prepared as to how to handle it. Now that I'm not a "special ed." teacher anymore (Aren't I, though?), I'm not trained in the new approaches. I'm more vulnerable. I wanted to protect the other teacher in the room. I didn't know how. I acted as if I was not scared. I had to act that way. I was scared. This realization came today. For some reason, I wanted others to know what I'd witnessed. I wanted them to know the power and the strength I witnessed. I wanted others to know what some teachers go through. Some - on a daily basis even.

More thoughts on this day:

I have been protected for a long time. I'm spoiled. I've got a very comfortable life. Am I now a total wuss because I haven't been exposed to violence or aggression? If I am exposed to it more often, will that make me a hard-ass? Will it make my heart harder? I signed up for this - when I was 22 years old. My role changed in 2002 when I was 29 and started working in "regular ed." I'm not cut out for a profession that includes violence or aggression. I've known that from the start. I'm worried that when I go back to school I will SHOW my fear. I will act like I'm not scared, no less. I'll hold it together. Other teachers see behaviors like this on a daily basis. Many are "used to" it. I can do this, too. I could. I have in the past. Now - I don't want to.

I figured out this must be what people call "trauma."

Second "day after" morning:
Woke with thoughts of it again. I decided I needed to write. Sat down to write this after I cried in the shower.
Cried writing this.
Thoughts this morning:

Thought of Mom coming over (we're going Christmas shopping). Thought of how I'll break down again when I hug her hello. Thought of my coworkers that support one another. Thought of how I don't want to "dump" this on them - for various reasons - one being that they're empathetic. Glad the one that was with me will not be in school Monday. She's had so much to deal with this school year already. Thought of talking with one of our social workers, yet she, too, has so much on her plate and has had a difficult start to the school year. 

Who do I turn to? I tell people they need to ask for help. My husband is helping. He's letting me cry and letting me talk it all out. I felt that writing this may help me process my thoughts more. As of 9am, my head says people will say, "You can't let it get to you like this." My thoughts back to myself say, "I can. I WON'T, though. I don't want to wake up like this each morning."

Third "day after" morning:
Today I look at this title and I cringe. It looks so dramatic! I think I must doing better.
I only cried twice today - once when the team kept talking about it, and again when I was coming home and "Joy to the World" came on the radio. I realized that my alone times conjure up visions of the incident. I need to stay occupied with other thoughts. My coworkers checked up on me. I felt supported and strong. I was ready to press the button and ask for the C-Team if needed. The first time I cried, I was on high alert already because we had two substitute teachers that would be working with this student. I was worried. I'd said, "Good morning" to the student and received no response. So I repeated myself quieter then turned and walked away. I was more frustrated at this point than scared. I had hoped this child would say something along the lines of "sorry." During class, I was followed around by the student, due the student not having access to technology. I consider this the "sorry" I was looking for.

Now, in the evening, I am relaxed. I'm not devoting tons of my energy to the situation. I'm getting distracted. Even as I told myself, "Live in the moment. What is going on in THIS moment NOW?" I would devote my thinking to it. Not right now. I'm going to listen to my book while I get some Christmas wrapping finished.

Fourth "day after" morning:
I turned to prayer today. I prayed for the student, for the teachers that work at our school, and for the parents. I wondered what home is like. I wondered what they've seen and how they've reacted and recovered. Praying for other people - instead of thinking of me - helped.

Fifth "day after" morning:
I worked one-on-one with this student at the end of class, and all was good. We were both calm and working on the plan for class while other students worked independently. I was at ease.

Sixth "day after" morning:
As the student was becoming agitated today, my co-teacher told me, "Your whole affect just changed." I was feeling the need to take every student out of the room quietly, even though I know this one student has not had a history of hurting anyone. My blood was rushing a bit, so I removed myself from one part of the room and sat down to work with other students, talking about their projects.

Eighth "day after" morning:
Our friend died of pancreatic cancer yesterday while we had our last day of school for 2019. It was expected, yet of course it's still terribly sad. So I'm back to crying again at the drop of a hat. A sad song, a happy song, a Christmas song... all set me off, especially when I'm alone. It has nothing to do with the incident. This time I was thinking of our friend's husband.

What I've learned:
I witnessed an event that was traumatic to me. It's been awhile since this has happened, and I didn't know how to deal with it.
I've learned that witnessing something traumatic takes a toll on a person's mental strength.
I've learned to find someone and talk to that person about it.
I've learned (again) writing helps me process my thoughts.
I've learned to be around other people.
I've learned to stay busy.
I've learned that it takes time.
I've learned that when thoughts of the incident come to mind, I need to notice it and then switch my thinking to something else. It needs to be a conscious act. It's not always easy, but it IS doable.

I still have so much of this life to try to figure out. It's such a puzzle - home, work, children, adults, relationships... One day at a time. One piece at a time. It's living. I'm so grateful for the support of friends, family, and coworkers.

BLC Brave

#BostonStrong and #BostonBrave are hashtags that reek of resilience of Bostonians in the wake of tragedy.

After attending the BLC (Building Learning Communities) Conference for my sixth (and final) time, I'm thinking of bravery - from Bostonians and others from around the world.

So many educators are much braver than I. Every time I attend, I'm amazed at the travelers that make it here. I'm nervous about making a flight, and they're coming from Australia, South America, and Lebanon...! I met a young lady named "Miracle" and an older gentleman named "Rejoice." Of course, everyone speaks English, and many are fluent in at least one more language. I feel surrounded by educators that are so caring and know so much more than I do.

One instance of my own bravery was the healthy grading session I facilitated. I've done this before (thanks to Matt Miller pushing me out of my tech zone when he asked presenters to do something without tech for his Ditch Conference in 2017), and every time the success of it depends on the participants. This time, teachers were very respectful of each other, played "devil's advocate" with excellent points, and brought up concerns many teachers have. I heard from one participant that "things felt a little hijacked" at one point, so that tells me that I could try to limit participants' responses, as some were using more speaking time than others, for sure. Those that participated were brave - others could disagree with their points at any time. I'm so glad we had as much lively discussion as we had!

Due to Stacey Roshan & Bobby Pollicino's session on staff meetings, I started a Flipgrid of "gems" I've learned at BLC this year. I wanted to do one grand one, but did six smaller ones... If you attended, please add your ideas - adding your two cents not only shows your bravery; your take-aways can affect countless students! If you did not attend, please check out what we've learned.

Caitlin Krause reminded me of my own fears when it comes to being brave once again in her session on storytelling. "The reason sharing is brave is because we must be vulnerable and trusting and open to judgment. Remember this - We each have a voice. We each have a story to tell. Our stories - and those of countless others - matter. When you share a part of your story, you're sharing is a gift. Take the risk, and be interested in others' stories, as well." Yes. Yes. Yes.

She shared these fears...

[adapted from Writing for Your Life]

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Good friend and educator in my own district, Carrie Baughcum came to Boston on her own to share her passion for learning mascots and visual thinking.

Seeing her get comfortable reminded me of her bravery. I don't know if I could travel alone to a place I've never been before... My favorite time with her was connecting and sharing stories from our families, yet it's Sylvia Tolisano's quote she brought up that will stay with me for a long time.

It's not simply about running. This quote can be applied to ALL of our learning. It can be applied to our bravery, as well. I'm not sure what chapter I'm on when it comes to bravery; I only know many people will be braver than me, and many people won't be as brave as me. And that's perfectly okay. There's no need to compare where we are on our journeys.

Please keep sharing your stories. Please keep listening to other people's stories. Let's learn together.

If you'd like to see other lessons I've learned from this conference, check out the BLC tag I've used through the years. Thanks for the great times, Alan November and all the passionate, caring educators I've been able to learn alongside these six years. I truly appreciate all your conference has done for me and for my students.

I'm using this as my blog post #7 for the #8weeksofsummer blogging challenge - I'm not sure where I am on my "summer learning journey." I do know that I'm moving forward, and that's all I can ask for.

Duolingo Lessons Learned

I'm on a 170-day streak on my free version of Duolingo. And I'm excited about it.

Let me backtrack - I took four years of French (7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th grade). Then it got difficult, and I wanted an easy life. So... I started Spanish in 11th, and continued it in 12th. My senior year I added a year of German. In between, I took a week of Russian offered through our library, and two American Sign Language classes in the summers offered through the community college. I went on to teach students who are Deaf or hard of hearing, so the sign language helped, obviously. The rest of the languages helped when reading or watching some movies, but that was about it.

During the 2017-2018 school year, I had a student who, when he started at our middle school, did not speak any English. We had another one this year. They both spoke Spanish at home. We've also had students who only speak Russian or Polish or any number of languages... and then they are immersed in our culture and become assimilated fairly quickly. I'm always amazed at all the English they know when they graduate 8th grade! I'm amazed that they become fluent in (at least) two languages so quickly.

This year, just before winter break (?), I thought it was time to brush up on my Spanish. Duolingo was the way I decided to refresh myself. I currently complete at least three lessons every morning, and I LOVE it. When I have extra time, I add another quick lesson. I wondered why there was such a draw for me to this app. I'm toying with the idea of buying a year's worth of the PRO version, as I have iTunes gift cards from my parents that I haven't used yet. It's pricy, but who knows? It may give me the help I need to feel comfortable speaking with someone (who is very patient!) in Spanish.

Here's what I've learned about why I'm so excited to use this app. Of course, reflecting on my own lessons learned brings up questions as to how I can provide this type of learning in my own class:

• I don't receive a grade. I simply am told if I'm right or if I'm wrong. If I'm wrong, they provide the answer, and then they give me the same question again at the end of the lesson. Knowing I'll be asked again helps me focus on the feedback they provide. No grades - feedback only. THIS I know how to do (after four years of practice)!
• I'm now listening without looking at the words. I'm trying to figure out what they're saying before I look at the words. I feel I need this challenge, and I can choose to challenge myself one day and take it "easy" the next. How can I include different modalities for my students to learn?
• Now that I know how the words are spelled, I can focus on the accent marks. I didn't care about them before, because I'd still get the answer "right" even though I didn't include the accent marks. I feel like I can handle them now, and feel proud when it doesn't give me any suggestions about them. How much does me "picking on" students' grammar in their writing affect their desire to write more?
• When I'm doing well, it becomes addicting. How many lessons can I get in this morning? Can I do just one more before I leave the house for school? Can I do another easier one before we head out for the day? When I'm doing well, I run the batteries down on my phone. How can I encourage my students to try more lessons on their own?
• When I'm busy in the mornings, I can choose easier lessons. When I have time during my day, I go back to longer lessons and feel proud when I move up a level on those. When do I let my students choose an easier vs. a more difficult lesson?
• Since I begin my day with it, I find I practice it for the next half hour in my head, often unknowingly. My husband will ask me a question, and I'll try to answer in Spanish. I find myself thinking in Spanish when the topic is familiar. How can I get my students thinking about reading and writing throughout the rest of their day?
• When I see my other team ELA teacher (who used to teach Spanish!), I know I can practice with her. I can also practice with my students. How can I provide more time for my students to "practice" reading and writing with master readers and writers?

Reflecting on my use of Duolingo reminds me of a quote I have kept from George Couros - Are we simply aiming to engage students, or genuinely empower them? 

I feel empowered after more lessons on this app.

I want to learn. 

I want to be able to communicate with new students who feel isolated.

This type of learning is relevant to me, because I'll be able to USE it and feel good about myself.

What are more ways I can do this for the students in my own care?

A Learning Dilemma

I'm working with a student when she appears at my side and asks...

"Mrs. Kirr, do you have pencil lead?"

"Middle drawer of the student station."

I continue working with a student on an activity, when she returns...

"There are three pieces left. Can I have them all?"

"Do you need all three? What about other students?"

"They don't need them. If they did, they would've taken them."

"What about my next class? Or tomorrow's classes?"

"Can I have them all?"

"You have to make that decision."

"I hate you, Mrs. Kirr."

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One aspect of having a student station in lieu of a teacher desk is that students have to manage the supplies. I've run out of tape, often times after a student takes the tape to their own desk and "decorates" their pencil. We make do without tape for a bit after that. Sometimes students help peers regulate how much of the supplies they need. I've also gained a few pairs of scissors along the way.

My students are 11, 12, and 13 years old. Their frontal lobes, the part of the brain they use to they make decisions, won't be fully developed until they're 22 years old (or even later). They need the practice making these types of decisions. I'm glad the student station provides a teeny bit of this practice.

I've told this story a couple of times, and have been asked each time, "Did she take all three?"
I have no clue.
I don't need to know.
I love that she had the internal struggle.
I'm okay that she "hated" me at that point in her life.
I hope she learned something as a result.
And really - I can afford to run out of pencil lead.

Quick Tip #27 - Life Lessons Visible

Throughout the school year, I ask for and then record life lessons we've learned. Once recorded, they are publicized here online for students, parents, and the community. Now that it's the end of the year...

Full Text

Quick Tip Playlist

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Seek Support

One of the lessons learned that I shared at the ICE conference the last two days was to seek support. Educators who are trying new things often feel alone.

At your own school...
     Who do you know at your own school who can help you with hardware? Software? Innovative ideas? Editing? Parents? Administration? School morale? Go to them - seek them out. Make the connections.

In your district...
     Who in your district is changing things for the better? Who is an inspiration? Who pushes you? Who supports you? Surround yourself with these educators.

On social media...
     When you stick you toe in, you'll find new ideas around every corner. After you're immersed in the deep end, you'll find that you're questioning others - and yourself. You'll be tired of the echo chamber, and you can now reach out towards people who push you further. These will be the connections that have the possibility to lead to big change in education.

The major benefit of seeking support is that you become more CONNECTED to educators who want to help. And then you get to MEET them in person and learn even MORE from them! This is when you do NOT feel alone - you get to be with your tribe!

I want to thank the following inspirational educators for the thrilling two days of learning and the filling up of my soul at the ICE 17 conference...

Amber Heffner - for the invitation to be a spotlight speaker! (And for all the nerves that came along for the ride!)

Jen Smith - for the nudge to update my profile picture, the eight bottles of water, the first dongle I tried, introductions prior to me speaking on Thursday, and for being my buddy and my "pusher" since 2012! Bonus: thanks for getting a Hokki stool to room 239, as well!

Carrie Baughcum - for the wholesome blossoming as a marigold for all educators. What a trip to hang out with you in what's become your element! How #HotSauceFantastic

Maureen Miller - for helping David Karnoscak and I win Kids Deserve It! (See my next post for lessons learned...)

Jen Vincent - for the second dongle - given at the drop of a hat!! - at the start of my first presentation.

Amy Lamberti - for the third - and final - dongle of the week. I just purchased my own today!

Dana Ladenburger - for being the catalyst to our "aha moment" at dinner (no, not the chili or the carding) and the beautiful sketchnote for my culture shift presentation, too!

Lindsay Zilly & Kristin Beeler - for the sketchnotes for one of my personalized learning presentations!

HS Senior who did not share his name - for coming up to me after one presentation and letting me know he thinks all teachers should hear my message.

John Wawczak for letting me know how much the LiveBinder has helped educators at your school. Just the motivation I need to keep editing it to make it better and easier for teachers and parents to use!

Catching up with so many fabulous educators! I started writing down all the familiar faces (Amanda, Heidi, Shawn, Jim, Traci, Joe, etc.) I was able to actually SIT with and chat, and then I lost the list!! UGH! I have no doubt that the person who found it will be following some stellar people soon. You know who you are! Thank you for making the connections again and swapping stories!

I'm so glad I got a chance to sit and talk a teeny bit with Steve Wick again, as well. His top tweets from ICE17 are here, and even though I didn't get to see his sessions, I know he always shares valuable information you can use TODAY! Next time I need to "relax" before I present, I'm checking out one of his myriad sessions!

My favorite tweets... that keep me inspired and ready to try to improve what's happening in schools!

I've had such support on this journey! Thank you to all the educators that continue to share online and inspire teachers like myself. Thank you to all the presenters I've ever seen in my career so far. I am so very fortunate to be able to learn from you.