I saw the two new hashtags, and I immediately picked up my phone to see what it was. I thought it would be from my dad's 85th birthday party on March 14th (we even went to a restaurant as a large family!!), but I didn't take any photos that day. Instead, it was this one...
Carrie and I have a great relationship. We can not see each other for months and then BAM! We catch up in no time. We work in the same district, but we met at an EdCamp (or maybe it was a SIT conference??). Carrie's a big hugger, just like me, and I remember her sharing when the Stay-At-Home order came in that she's going to hug EVERYONE when this is all over - the person who bags her groceries, the person who holds the door open... Yup.
Now it's 66 days in for us, and I found out we're both just not feeling ourselves. I replied back to Carrie that I don't like how I (kind of) recoil when people kind of get close at the grocery store. I talked with Hubby about it yesterday, and he said it's normal. We're being asked to stand apart from each other, and it's because there is (what feels like imminent) danger if we don't.
I hope I don't lose that part of my identity. I hope - at edcamps - that I'm still known as the girl who hugs everyone. I hope when people go to an edcamp and say hi to me they still expect one - and I hope I still give them - without hesitation. Maybe I'll wait to attend another one until I CAN be who I used to be. Maybe, instead, I'll change. I've changed in a few other ways already. I can't tell what will happen. Who knows?
No one has these answers. There are so many questions in all this to which no one seems to have the answers. It's one of the hardest parts of the pandemic for this privileged girl, and I'm learning to put off the questions until someone comes out and answers them for me without me asking. My patience is growing leaps and bounds.