I, Joy Kirr, am a middle school teacher, author, and speaker. My 7th grade ELA (English Language Arts) classes are working to improve their lives through student-directed learning - without marks throughout the year. This is a log of my learning experiences... Want to have me speak with your staff or facilitate a workshop? Here is my PORTFOLIO.

Saturday, April 15, 2023

Disconnected

I had this book in my Libro.fm account, and it was short, so I decided to listen to it while I did the dishes while Hubby is recovering from knee replacement surgery. We usually do the dishes together, and I wanted the distraction.

I've been having a love-hate relationship with social media and games on my phone. I spend a LOT of time on my phone. I thought this book might help me not be attached to it as much.

Here are some things I'd like to remember from this book...

She posed this question: "What part of your online life do you enjoy or do by choice (ex: curating boards for inspiration on Pinterest)?"

          I enjoy connecting with teachers on Twitter. I haven't been doing this as much as I used to, and this may be because I've set a limit for myself on Twitter, and I've done a good job of sticking to it. I'm only on Twitter in the morning for a half hour before work, and on weekend mornings. On Instagram, I enjoy seeing posts from former students and encouraging them in their college and job endeavors. TikTok makes me laugh, and when I create on it, I feel the students who follow me will benefit from the humor and book talks. I only use Snapchat when I want to play with filters and get Hubby and I laughing until our guts hurt. This happens about once a year. I don't post or follow anyone on Snapchat. I play games (daily challenge - Killer Sudoku, Blockudoku, Fishdom, Nonogram, Nonogram Color, and Elevate) to stimulate my brain. I practice Duolingo to hopefully some day be able to have an actual conversation with a student in Spanish (and later in Polish).

And she followed up with this one: "And what things do you do only because you feel you should (ex: being on Twitter for professional purposes)?"

          I do feel like I need to post a bit every day on Twitter. That's where I (used to) market my book(s), share the good about GeniusHour, share that and my Antiracist LiveBinder, amplify other people's great ideas, and I feel like my followers expect me to be real and to share what I believe is important. I've been quieter on it lately because, like Mom said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," and since teaching in a pandemic, it's been harder for me to find positive and valuable things in education to share.

"We get to say no. We get to change our habits."

          This quote/idea has helped me stop playing so many games on my phone. My favorites for zoning out: Nonogram, and Nonogram Color. I have time limits on these, and at 8:00, all tech is off my phone (except books and Duolingo). Knowing that when I zone out on them I often think of problems at school, I now recognize these thoughts earlier, and I click the "ignore" button a bit quicker.

...insert app name here.

Every time I put my earbud in my ear to listen to this book, I hear, "Connected," which means my phone is connected to the earbud. To me, it meant "Joy can't just do one thing - she's got to listen to a book while she does the dishes, even." That fact bothered me, but I didn't do anything about it, because I thought it was a good use of my time... Another thing that happened was that while I was "reading" (and doing the dishes), texts from a friend came through. I tried to not look at them until I was done doing the dishes at least... 

The author likes Seth Godin, and she quoted him many times throughout.

It's good to amplify others' great ideas - while giving credit, of course. 

It's good to connect with others in smaller communities. It's even better if we try doing this OFFline.

Everyone - and everything - is an influence(r).

"I want my online life to influence my offline life for the better."

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Yes. Yes. Yes. I want my online life to influence my offline life for the better. So much of what I see on Twitter affects me in a negative way lately. The news, what's "trending" (I STILL haven't quite learned to NOT click on those items!), the replies to tweets (anonymity brings out the worst in people, I've decided), and those teachers who aren't teaching anymore telling me what I "should" and "should not" do (consider suggesting things, eh?). I find myself feeling upset and thinking judging thoughts, and I don't like that part of me. I need to find a way to use Twitter to my advantage again. This has me unfollowing those that don't affect me in a positive way, and taking some people off of my Twitter lists that I use on Tweetdeck. I'm making what I see more positive and a more hopeful start to my mornings. I have that control, and that feels like a positive step.

Since being reminded that everyone and everything is an influence on people, I've tried to look at things differently. In the grocery store, when I want to buy something I see (if it's not on the list), I consider what it's actually called - an "impulse buy." I've found myself shaking my head and passing by. When I'm in line and see more things I want to buy, I consider why they put those items there. I don't want to be controlled in this manner, so that little bit has helped me make smart decisions - at least in a store. It's also helped me to keep smiling and listening at work/school. Doing so may influence others to smile and to listen - or at least to feel better around me smiling at and/or listening to them. It's even helped me drive better - especially when someone around me isn't driving their best. I don't let them influence me to drive like a maniac or get in their space.

Knowing that I was choosing this book to hopefully influence me in a positive way, I did one of the things the author suggested. I tried doing nothing - for five to ten to fifteen minutes. Although I got better at it when school was shut down, this is still difficult for me and takes a lot of practice. She asked, "What did you realize about yourself?" I sat in my backyard on a bench, and after just about five minutes, I realized... I like to help things grow. I can totally use this information in my job, in my online space, and at home. I decided to try again -what's five minutes, right? This time around, I realized that I learn WAY more from my mistakes at 50 years old than I did when I was a teen or pre-teen. It got me thinking... can some of our students not be able to learn from their mistakes yet? Even writing about this, I feel the urge to do nothing again - tonight.

A little irony... I broke my own Twitter time boundary and tweeted these two realizations (under the tweet that I was reading this book). I shared them online because I thought they might influence another person to try this on their own. I'm also writing this post for me (I keep my book reviews like this on my blog) and sharing it via Twitter. If it can help one person try one thing that positively influences their life, I think it's worth it, and it aligns with why I got on Twitter in the first place.

After I read any self-help book of any sort, I try to put one thing into practice. I used to try to put them ALL into practice, but I've realized it doesn't work for me. My one thing from this book will be to try to do nothing for at least five minutes each day - when I feel the pull of my phone. This aligns well with the lessons I (thought I) learned during pandemic teaching. It also aligns with my #OneWord I've chosen a couple of years in a row now - PRESENT.

Although this wasn't my favorite book (3/5 stars), it was free, it helped me get the dishes done, and I took away some good reminders.