A Glimpse...

...into my first full week at the start of my 29th year...

• A girl in the hallway helped another student in the hallway get to her class.
• A new student said "gracias" to me when I was able to use some Spanish to help her with her locker combination. (We've since talked a teeny bit more - C'mon, Duolingo - get me to conversational level!) She did chuckle when I muttered, "Algun dia..."
• Student to another student: "There's no proof that anyone walked on the moon." My thoughts: Oh no. Not again.
• One student walked across the room. Another took her Hokki stool. She complained. I said it was hers - she was sitting on it a minute ago. She said to the student who took it, "What am I supposed to do, glue it to my butt?" 
• When I called on one student, he replied, "Arf." This happened three times in one class. It hasn't happened again after that (yet).
• We have very few Black students. One of mine was sharing favorite breakfast foods, and then added, "...and of course, watermelon." As the other students said, "That's a stereotype," I took a deep breath. Then they all looked to see how I'd respond. I said, "I have to stop class right here. I do not think ___ meant any harm towards anyone here, but that type of stereotyping is not allowed in this class. I don't want anyone to say anything that could make another student feel uncomfortable or unsafe in any way." He quickly apologized, and we moved on.
• This same student needed a book because they forgot theirs at home. They went to my nonfiction books and found Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's autobiography. They asked me who the author was. I said, "Kareem Abdul-Jabbar." I loved the look of surprise - and pride - on their face.
• I stand by my door during passing periods. A student who (I'll just say it) hated me last year walked past me in the hallway, shouting, "ELA is the worst class ever!" I had been smiling at the time, so I forced myself to laugh (trying to put it off as if I hadn't heard him and was laughing at something someone else in the hallway said). As I was forcing a laugh, a real laugh came, because the first one was contagious and I just thought it was a crazy situation that I was pretending to laugh - all around, middle school is a crazy situation anyway.
• One teacher put cold Diet Cokes on other teachers' desks in the morning with a note about having a "good day."
• On "Book-Trailer Tuesday," I heard from one student, "Wait... books have trailers?" In another class, a different student said, "We've had book trailers since second grade."
• One student was choosing which notebook to keep out for this quarter. He quietly used the "Eeenie meenie miney moe" rhyme. I encouraged him to find a new way to choose next time, as that rhyme has racist origins.
• Two students (with lots of energy) channeled their energy into sharing their silly and creative quick writes (choice writing in 5 min) with the class.
• We started talking about the behavior system for the school year, and as students started asking questions (EX: What if someone ...), I let them know I don't play the "What If" game.
• I'm still giving out a balloon for birthdays. The birthday girl blew hers up while I was reading two chapters from Ghost Boys for our First-Chapter Friday, and as she was very quietly and appropriately playing with it, it popped. After the shock, students looked to me. "Balloons pop sometimes," is all I said, and I kept reading (and they let me).
• A quiet student shared with me, "I liked that first chapter."
• A student is reading aloud one of our writing prompts: "You have just finished your first full week of 7th grade..." The rest of the class claps!
• During plan time, my co-planner friend was adding speech bubbles to photos of kids reading that she's putting into our slideshow for the next day... she's got this wicked laugh because she knows the students will laugh and will like seeing them.
• EIGHT students shared their writing today in front of the entire class.
• One student took out headphones and said, "I still have them from last year." I replied, "That's great you took care of them." A (normally) quiet student added, "Until they break, they're still useful."
• Student: "My brother says you're really nice."  Me: "How would he know? I never had him as a student." Student: "Well he's not wrong." 

Lots of "wins."

Lots of laughter.

Lots of stories.

I love the little snippets in my day. This is my way of saving them.

And... this pretty thing was on our butterfly bush a few times this week:

20 Reasons Why I'm Staying

...for another six years...

After the last two years of teaching being my most difficult so far (and I'm in Illinois - I can't imagine teachers in some other states!), I've noticed a lot of teachers announcing their resignations or retirements (due to so much I will not attempt to list here - if you're reading this, you most likely know the causes). I'm heading into year 28. I need to stay in teaching because there's really nothing else I can do at this point to receive this salary, and gosh darn it, I've worked hard to get here, and I believe I do a solid job of it. I have pushed myself to find - and list - some other reasons to stay in this profession for a few more years. I'm considering this a working document for myself.

I'm staying... because teachers DO work over the summer, and I've been preparing for this next school year, planning to make it better than the last (as usual).

I'm staying... so I have the funds to donate to those worse off than me, and to those causes I believe are worth it for the children I'm serving.

I'm staying... because I have no hidden agenda and I am confident I am NOT a "Marxist," "groomer," "indoctrinator," or "evil monster," so I need not be afraid of parents (mine and my students') who believe the picture some of the media and politicians paint about educators.

I'm staying... to be the person I want to be - one that tries to teach 12 year olds HOW to think, not WHAT to think.

I'm staying... to share some windows and mirrors through the pages of books.

I'm staying... to keep trying to prove to my students that what they have to say - and write - matters.

I'm staying... to role model how to slow down in order to work on word choice when communicating (esp. listening, speaking and writing).

I'm staying... to share with seventh graders what I'm learning alongside them - and from them.

I'm staying... because seventh graders never fail to make me laugh every day, and I hope I can help them smile each day, as well.

I'm staying... to keep trying to do what I believe is right for children, to try my hardest to be the role model and teacher I needed when I was their age, to show them that people care about them.

I'm staying... because I may be able to affect another teacher in a positive way that will affect their students for the rest of their time as a teacher.

I'm staying... because I feel some of my coworkers benefit from me being in their circle sometimes.

I'm staying... so I can stand up for children and educators who I feel are being mistreated, misrepresented, or misunderstood.

I'm staying... because there's always that one note from a child or a parent that boosts my optimism for another week or so - that one quick smile or laugh or piece of praise or gratitude that I latch onto because it makes me feel as if I'm doing SOMEthing right.

I'm staying... because this is one challenge I feel I can keep improving at. I know I'll never master how to teach, but I have always - and will continue to - plan on improving with each year.

I'm staying... because I still want to be part of the reason why I feel we have a fairly safe school. I want to be the one to make connections with children and help THEM make connections with each other - to help them to reach out to those who are isolated or shunned. And I have to say it - if I were to die at the hands of a former student from our school, at least I have no children of my own at home who would suffer.

I'm staying... because I've learned so much about how to care for my mental and physical health since the 2020-2021 school year, and last year I felt some success being able to leave most work AT work.

I'm staying... because my husband believes I still have so much to do, try, hear, experience... and because he knows I love my students.

I'm staying... because teaching used to be regarded as a very important profession to be in, and I want to make sure my next six years are valuable to the students in my care.

I'm staying... although I may have scars, the last two years didn't break me, and I feel better equipped to take on the next challenges.

Teacher Evaluations - Circumstance and Privilege

I've got an observation coming up. I'm just fine when someone pops in our classroom to visit or say hi or ask for something, but observations make me fret. This is not a summative year for me, so it's just an informal one, and I asked my administrator to surprise me, because I just cannot choose a date.

Anyway... I was thinking about the labels we use to evaluate teachers. To tell the truth, I don't even know what the first two (of four) are on the Danielson rubric, but the next two are "proficient" and "distinguished." These are the two where we want to be. Some teachers like to talk about other teachers and where they fall on the spectrum. I heard from a teacher friend of mine that I was "distinguished." Really? It was news to me!! (Oh, how I can't stand rumors!)

Some educators want feedback in order to grow further - if we're not "distinguished" in one or more of the four domains, how do we get there? Some people don't worry about it. Some teachers are satisfied with "proficient," and I believe they should be. I'll explain why.

I've been reading teacher wellness books lately. In The Zen Teacher, the message I received loud and clear was to make time for YOURSELF - EVERY day. In Teaching Well, the message I received was to not over-do it.

When we have four domains, it's as if we have four grades. If, in two domains, I received a "proficient," and in the other two, "distinguished," who's to say what the "final grade" should be? Isn't this just as varied depending on the teacher as the difference between an 89% and a 90%?

Consider the teacher that is "proficient" in each of the four domains. "There is room for growth," are the first words we think, and we do not recognize that sometimes all we can do is "proficient" - and that should be very okay.

Consider the opportunities afforded that could affect your evaluation.

• Mrs. Kirr got a grant to turn her tables into white board tables! Mrs. Nelson got one of our new classrooms, and so they had to purchase new furniture for her. Sweet! Mrs. Powell found a great kitchen set of chairs for only $25, so she brought them in to add to her hodge podge flexible seating. Mrs. Maxwell still has the retired teacher's math desks that are hard to get into if you're not skinny. All of these are due to circumstances and privilege. 
• What about the extra "outside school hours" you work? You'd better chaperone a dance or help out at a game at your own school and then also do the same for your own child at his school. Don't forget your bus duty this week when it's going to be 5 below. 
• Your car had better get you to school or your students will be without a "guest teacher" because they are in high demand. Sorry - your babysitter / daycare bailed? Too bad you'll have to take a sick day - it's good our after school club meets tomorrow and not today. No worries if you yourself are actually sick - it's often easier to go in to school than to write sub plans (not the best idea if you want to take care of your physical and mental health, however). 
• Oh, and I'm not going to sit next to a student on the floor anymore, because my back hurts after a while. Stinks that I have plantar fasciitis due to all the walking I'm doing around the room every day. A tennis ball being rolled under my feet each morning helps. 
• No, I'm not going to attend the three day, two night trip because I have a family I'm supposed to be taking care of first. 
• And this year - no coaching track, because I realized last year I really have no clue what I'm doing, and it's so unfair to the kids. 

Circumstance and privilege. Seriously. I remember signing up for every after school activity I could when I was young. I desperately needed the money, I could stay up all hours of the night and still work well during the day, and my parents were glad to have me out of the house (or I didn't really care for my roommate).

Consider the teacher that is "distinguished" in all four domains. How is this teacher not more highly regarded at school automatically? We should be observing her classes and learning lessons from the best of the best! Those who couldn't attend could watch the video broadcast on their own time! Tell me she has a Golden Apple already... If a person received "distinguished" in all four domains, we don't believe it. We think there's something sneaky going on. ... Because NO ONE could earn "distinguished" in all four areas. Seriously. You would be breathing and eating teaching 24/7. Then WHY DO WE STILL STRIVE FOR IT?!

Why isn't "proficient" in all four domains okay? Maybe this is the year your child took all of your time. Maybe this is the year a family member is sick. Maybe this is the year you needed that dental work. Maybe this is the year you had to clean out your parents' house.

Why isn't "proficient' in all four domains okay? Sometimes all you can work is 60 hours a week. Doing more than that will wear you out - mentally and physically. We need to take care of our own selves before we can care for others.

Why isn't "proficient" in all four domains okay?

Because.

We know we can do better.
We want to be the best for our students.
We don't want to be in a rut.
We want to feel good again.
We want to feel rejuvenated.
We are passionate about what we do.
Good enough will never be good enough.
We will always strive to be master teachers.

And yet...

We should be okay if we are "proficient" in all four domains. We strive to do the best we can in the amount of time we have available. If I've learned anything this school year, it's that at this point in my life and career I cannot - and really should not - do it all if I want to stay mentally and physically healthy.

Dream Day...

This past Wednesday is still on my mind. It was truly a teacher's dream...

We started with independent reading - oh, how beautiful!

A student book talk next? Why not?! (All of ours are here!)

Then came the groans... Any time we "have to" write, the groans come. We got our ideas ready to go, wrote the claim together, and then came our 4-minute break. Once back from break, we got to work writing about Phineas Gage...

I was able to go around and give over-the-shoulder conferences ("OTSCs" as Amplify calls them) to many students. I have gotten better at this the past four years. I spot something the student is doing well, and let the student know how their writing affects me as a reader. I then find something they can improve upon and ask them to "consider changing ______ to see how it will affect your readers further." Or... "I notice you did this _____ - what do you think would happen if you ________?" This way students still keep the control - they are treated as the writers they are - they have choice in the matter. (If you want guidance on how to do this, read Choice Words by Peter Johnston!)

At two minutes left, I reminded them to do a "once over," reading it through to check their capitalization, punctuation, and use of evidence. I took photos of student work (we were sans laptops this day - you can still do a lot with just one iPad in the room), and tried to be quick about uploading them to a document we would project on the screen.

We were then ready to share. "THIS is where the learning happens," I informed the class.

The first two classes went fairly well. Students were brave to share, attentive while listening to others, and took turns giving feedback and quality boosters. (Thanks for that great term, Paul Solarz!) We graded them on the spot for quality of evidence and grammar/conventions - as a CLASS. We discussed the difference between "developing," "proficient," and "mastery," and the writer could either argue peer ideas or accept them. If we graded them as anything less than "mastery," we gave suggestions as to what they could do to improve their writing. What we were doing was having discussions about the craft of writing, and NOT about the writer. I was a happy teacher.

Then came my last class. This class, as you might know, is grading themselves at the end of each quarter. Work goes in the grade book, but grades do not. Instead of a grade, specific feedback is written (often copied/pasted from the rubric) in it's spot. I believe this has made a huge difference already. When students were sharing their feedback and quality boosters, many of their words came right from my specific feedback that I've been putting in the grade book in place of grades. They said things such as this...

"You have strong evidence, but it would be stronger if you added ..."
"I notice your evidence supports your claim and connects to your reasoning."
"Only some evidence (specific evidence pointed out) supports your claim. You might want to add ___, so your claim is supported better."
"You have sufficient evidence, but what if you used __________ (insert new text here) instead of ________ (written evidence)?
I think you could prove your claim easier if you used different text."
"I think this is 'publish ready!'" (No grammar mistakes.)

At one point, I thanked them for their bravery and honesty, and using this opportunity to help each other become better writers. One student (Anna) said, "Well we're not stressed about the grade. We just want to do better." (I'm telling you - it was a DREAM day!)

At the end of this class, I suggested they turn in their writing if they did not share with the class, so I could give them some specific feedback.

--------------------

One day later (Thursday)... I hadn't received some of the writing prompts from my last class. As they were working independently, I asked them, one at a time, if they were going to turn in their writing for feedback. The first two turned them in. The next student asked, "Do we have to?"

I responded, "Did you want to use this piece of writing for proof of writing or language usage skills?"

"No."

"Okay. Just know you can't use this piece for evidence if you don't receive feedback on it."

"That's fine. I don't want to publish it on my blog, and this quarter our proof has to be published, right?"

"Yup. I hadn't thought of that. (Pause... Thinking...) I totally understand. Let me know if you ever want feedback on this piece." I went to the next student.

--------------------

These kids get me thinking. THIS is why I'm teaching. These are the days I live for at school.

The next day (Friday/yesterday), I decided to offer additional (and optional) independent practice for my classes. "Write about Phineas Gage in a blog post."

What this means - Students can write a letter to the author, an opinion piece, a book review... They can create a video, a vlog post, or a poem. Should they choose to take me up on it, I believe they will stake a claim, use textual evidence to support whatever they write (or say), and explain their evidence in relation to their claim.

What this means for my last class - Whatever they decide, they can use this published piece towards their proof of learning for writing, language usage, or speaking & listening skills. I'll give them specific feedback, and they can revise it if they so choose. (If we can get comments on their blog posts, they'll get more feedback!)

As we went over the independent practice listed on the board, I halted. I erased "Phineas Gage," and left it blank. I suggested, instead, that they begin to write on their blogs, and then let me know which posts they'd like feedback on. The posts they shared with me for feedback could be used towards proof of their skills in class. (This weekend I will figure out HOW to give this feedback - on one spreadsheet per student is what I'm thinking - I don't want to give the feedback in a blog comment. I will also have to figure out how they can then let me know that they revised, if they choose to do so.)

Source unknown - This image was sent to
me via Erik Kipling yesterday.

Hopefully this will be writing they WANT to do, using what we practice in class to write what THEY want to write, not prompts I provide. I can just imagine it now... We do the work we're supposed to do in class in order to learn the skills, and then they APPLY that work outside of class on something they enjoy... Hmmm.... Isn't this the way learning is supposed to work?

Nix the "Dream Day" title. This was a teacher's dream WEEK!

My resources so far: 
"FaR" tabs of our classroom Weebly
Feedback Instead of Grades LiveBinder 
     for parents to inspect
My own reflections on this journey