Day 62 - Ramblings

Thursday, May 14, 2020

I woke up thinking about praise and how it affects me. Last night I read about half an hour before heading to bed. Hubby said, "Nice job reading tonight." He meant, "Nice job not being on the computer or phone tonight." I haven't been reading like I thought I would during this time. Like I used to. Like I love to do. When I woke and thought of his praise, I wanted to read. I wonder how the praise we typically provide students during a typical school day affects them. I wonder how the lack of that amount now affects them.

Our advisory activity this week was to interview a friend. We had questions to ask regarding their favorite activities during quarantine and their goals. My good coworker and I shared our answers (to share with the kids), and later I asked some of these questions to another friend. It's a good activity, and I hope the kids get something out of it. The answers shared on FlipGrid so far look promising.

I recorded a ten-minute presentation on genius hour for #GlobalBrewEdIsolation happening all day (in the U.K.) on Saturday. It starts at 3:30 am our time. Ten minute sessions from so many educators ALL DAY!


I don't know how people like @grahamandre pull all this stuff together!

I'm way more than half-way done with my cards for the graduating Seniors.... I'm so excited about it. I'm also excited to get back to card making once I'm done writing postcards to the seventh graders...

Hubby had his first Zoom chat today with an old friend in Detroit. I joined him, because his friend's wife joined him. She even dressed up for us! It was an hour and a half long, from noon - 1:30. Bob took a nap afterwards. He was thankful to me for helping him with the tech, and I'm pretty sure he was very happy with the whole thing, even if he didn't want to do it in the first place.
"It's not the same," he said.
His friend replied, "But it's what we've got." I think that helped him get over the hump.

Days 60 & 61

Tuesday and Wednesday, May 12 & 13, 2020

I am so so very fortunate to work where I do. Teachers are loved. We are celebrated. Today I was finally able to get out to one of our Superintendent's invitations for drive-through food. I got pancakes at what the locals call "Mr. A's." I was able to see our former principal and a few other administrators from the district office.

 

And before I knew it... they disappeared!

It's weird, because I had it planned for almost a week, and the morning of, I just felt sick to my stomach for a few minutes, thinking that I was actually going. I have no clue why I felt that way, so when I was in the shower I rationalized my thoughts and my stomach issues left me. I got in the car before I could think about it again. And it was all FINE. I don't know why I was anxious about it. It made me wonder - if someone who's pretty "with it" right now and has a pretty solid head on her shoulder has these moments of anxiety, what about those kids whose normal response is anxiety??

After checking and responding to work emails, a different part of my day started online at 9am with the #GHVS2020 - the Genius Hour Virtual Summit that Andi McNair put together on the fly last week. We were a panel of passionate educators who had all written (and got published!) about genius hour. The panel was SO fulfilling to me. I felt like I was with my tribe once again. I felt needed. I felt valued. We held it via a Zoom webinar, so there were 100 people with us, and the other 300 or so who registered would get the recordings.

Here is my session:
     Genius Hour: Student Reluctance or Resistance

I'll upload the others here when I get them. :)

We also had a staff meeting Tuesday - those are always interesting... I then had my evaluation, and it was very nice. I kind of felt that I was in his office... ? 

Today I was so motivated to work on my own genius hour project for the Seniors. I cranked out a lot more cards, and I did a ton of little things that will help the project progress (see my other blog soon for that update). Checking in on my own students' progress on their projects was a blast, as well, today.

What's been with me the last two days is a feeling of value. Sharing about my passion once again (it's been awhile!) gave me a boost I didn't know I was missing. I haven't presented in a long while, and even though I was basically talking to my computer for my session, I was able to share things I hadn't shared in quite awhile. It brought that need back for me - to share my passions. I don't know how this will translate, but I've got the bug again.

Genius Hour Virtual Summit (Day 59)

... is tomorrow (Tuesday, May 12, 2020)!

I do not have a script. I have ideas I'd love to share, and I'd love to learn from YOU! Join when you can if you're interested in learning more about Genius Hour / Passion Projects / 20% Time / Inquiry


http://bit.ly/GHVS2020Panel <-- 9am CST with everyone listed below http://bit.ly/GHVS20201 <-- 10am CST with Andi McNair http://bit.ly/GHVS20202 <-- 11am CST with Gallit Zvi & Denise Krebs http://bit.ly/GHVS20203 <-- 1pm CST with A.J. Juliani http://bit.ly/GHVS20204 <-- 2pm CST with Don Wettrick http://bit.ly/GHVS20205 <-- 3pm CST with me



Instead of writing a blog post today, I'll be lining up the resources I'd love to share tomorrow.

If you have registered and do not make it into the Zoom call (limit is 100), Andi McNair will send you the recording. 👍

And here's the gang, getting ready for tomorrow - it was so fun to chat with them once again!

Gallit, Don, AJ, Andi, and Denise (GHO, so I'm not pictured)

Days 57 & 58 - Mothers & Motivation

Saturday & Sunday, May 9 & 10, 2020

My family celebrated Mother's Day on Saturday, as it was going to be a much nicer day out than today. It was proven true. Mom said she had a wonderful day and wouldn't change a thing. Bob and I brought some music, chairs, a cooler, cupcakes and gifts. My sister brought her family and bought the pizza. It was solid. The weather was perfect until about 6pm when the sun didn't bring the heat anymore.

Once again, I didn't hug anyone. I noticed that neither did my brother in law. My nephew almost didn't, but Mom encouraged him to, so he held his breath. I don't know when I'll feel as if Mom and Dad and Bob are safe enough for me to hug Mom and Dad again. This, however, is the worst of my worries and troubles.

We got a letter from our village about how they credited our water bill account by $200, and how we won't have to pay them back because they have the money. This could be two to three months of water service for many of us. Since I feel guilty about it (I'm still being paid), I'm going to donate that money.

I was able to put in many hours (four??) in writing to my former 7th graders who are now Seniors (for my genius hour project). It was kind of fun, but my hand hurts a bit and my nice light blue pen ran out of ink. I'm a teeny bit less than half-way done writing the messages inside the cards.

My motivation is L-O-W today. I'm not sad. I'm not crabby. I'm just... here. I listened a bit to my book on Libro.FM, I played a couple of games on my phone, and I looked up Seniors in my old yearbook and on Instagram to see where they were going to college (if they shared). I found out that one of them had a child, and one of them only went part time to their high school. It was fun looking through their pics and seeing how they've grown so much already. I'm excited for their futures!

It's 1:30. I've not nothing more to write and nothing more planned for the day. Sometimes during this COVID "normal," that's all there is. I get it. I get it when the kids say they're bored. Tomorrow I won't be bored. I'll find more to do. It's a decision I'm making today. Heck, we're eight weeks in. It's okay to feel this way.

Day 56 - Word Shifts

Friday, May 8, 2020

I used to provide students with a lot of feedback - in class and on video recordings while reading their work. My feedback has now shifted to writing notes on student assignments and emails to them and their parents.

In these "unprecedented times" - and always, really - I'm very careful with my word choice when emailing students, parents, and coworkers.

Here are three of the word shifts I've made in the past six weeks (since we held the reins of what assignments we'll be providing):
     Instead of...   keep track   Try...  check in
          Example:
          NOT: I'd like to keep track of the assignments you're completing.
          YES: I'd like to check in the assignments you're completing.
     Instead of...   before we got stuck at home   Try...  earlier in the year
     Instead of...   you need to   Try...   please consider
     Instead of...   sincerely       Try...   missing you

I know there are more, but I've stopped writing them down. I'm making them on the spot. What are some of the words you've shifted with your students - and maybe with your family?

I will say, that when I get back into a school building, I'm not going to tip toe around peers. I'm going to ask things that need to be asked, and say things that need to be said, if by not saying them things will get weird or confusing. I've always been honest at school (I haven't lied since 2009 - I used to be a good liar - terrible, I know!), and I've also been kind. I think, in order for me to continue being kind, I need to not tiptoe around certain subjects. I'm just going to ask other teachers to hash it out with me. Just tell me what you're thinking, so we can work together as professionals in the best interest of our students.

More word shifts to read, if you'd like:

• Jen Roberts blogged here on the shift from "synchronous" and "asynchronous" to "real time" and "flex time."
• Erik Palmer blogged here about not saying "remote learning" but instead "remote assigning." If this weren't crisis learning, I'm sure we'd be doing things much differently
• Monte Syrie blogged here to share about moving from "if" to "when."

Day 55 - Wonderings...

Thursday, May 7, 2020

The more I know, the more I know I don't know... again and again.

My ramblings for today...

• A teacher at team wondered when we'd get to order supplies for next year. Will we be ordering supplies? Will we be at school or at home? What about student supplies? I read this article about Montreal maybe reopening schools yesterday and wonder what we'll be doing... There are so many questions like this, and no one knows the answers... yet.
• Our inline hockey rink was locked the last two weeks or so... kids and adults have been climbing the fence to play anyway. Not a ton of people, not a "large group," and I think they may even be families. They's split the rink so a kid could practice shooting at one end, and another could practice at the other end. Today we saw the goal locked to the fence. (Picture below.) I guess they're not practicing anymore.
• Spring is in FULL bloom. So many pretty trees and shrubs. Our flowering almond shrubs (we have one in front and one in back) are the best they've ever looked - like pink cotton balls all down each stem. Amazing. I'm going to miss this next spring if we're in a school building all day.
• Unemployment is still going up.
• I'm still not reading like I used to.
• When WILL we get to hug those close to us? Who's to say? How jerky am I if I'm not hugging my mom but my sister, her husband and her kids are??
• Temporary fencing will be erected this weekend so fewer people go to Busse Woods. There are already many parking restrictions on the nearby streets. The city will start towing cars now. There's talk of a full closure of the forest preserve if people get too close to each other. (We walk there all the time from our house. Bob joked about charging people to park in our driveway.)
• My students were more engaged this Wednesday! They're sharing their genius hour plans!
• I was able to see - and cheer on - many eighth graders today!
• Nobody knows what's right. Nobody knows what's going to happen in our future. It's a crazy, beautiful weather day. My hair (and Bob's) is too long. Oh, well.

Flowering Almond

On our walk - by the creek

One locked up goal...

Still no hugs for Mom... Newspaper from our walk.

We lined the parking lot to cheer on graduates picking up their gowns.

Days 53 & 54 - A Lot to Do

Tuesday and Wednesday, May 5 & 6, 2020

Yup. I skipped a day of blogging. I was doing to do this EVERY day for posterity. For primary documents. Yesterday I was crashing from four hours in the classroom, and I decided it was better for my health if I skipped the blog post.

Yesterday I went to school for my four-hour slot, and I'm actually surprised I used the entire time. Half an hour was spent taking student binders off of our shelves and labeling them on the outside with tape and then putting them in alphabetical order. I then put these in a huge garbage bin which I took down to the gym. On my way there, it fell over. Ugh.

Once at the gym, I had to open each bag for each student's binder to be put in. This took a full hour. Some bags had twist ties (that we used to close them the day prior) that were breaking or twisted oddly, and some bags that were tied were very difficult to open. My back was aching. I felt like crud not writing a letter in each binder, but I didn't think of it ahead of time, and my slot to head into the classroom was early on in the month. Big sighs. This is when I feel I'm not doing "enough."

It was odd being in the classroom, but not too odd. I was actually happy when I threw out the seating charts, the questionnaires I gave students as to where they'd LIKE to sit, the sign out sheets, and homeroom papers we never got to. I was elated when I found a note from my students tucked away:

The front... Mr. Ron is a substitute/guest teacher.

The back...

I was able to share it with them on the video I made for them today. Then I got an email from one of the three on the front that said, "Did you like my note?" Yes. Yes, I did.

Today students are sharing their Genius Hour projects on our padlet!! I'm soooo excited to see engagement!! I guess the brainstorming the last few Wednesdays hasn't been their cup of tea, but it looks like it worked out for most of them so far!

I'm exhausted (for what reason, really?!) and Hubby and I were talking about how, if there wasn't a stay at home order, we'd be camping at the Taft campus. I looked at the time and thought about where we'd be. I'd be finishing dinner with 150 students and 20 or so staff, ready to go on our next activity, where we'd stay until snack time and night hike, or campfire and smore's. Until 10:00pm. Or later. I would NOT survive the first day of our Taft trip if I had to be there today.

Day 52 - Lockers & Birthdays

Monday, May 4, 2020

My day:
     Look through and answer emails
     Team meeting from 10:00-10:30
     Get IBS thinking of going to school today
     Have a few nachos
     Head to school with my ID, mask, and gloves
     Empty lockers with other teachers
          Took a picture to send to a retired friend
     Head home to pick up Bob to go to my sister's house for three birthdays:
          Her husband and her two 14-year-olds
     Stayed at the party outside (47 degrees) for two hours mostly six feet apart.
     Came home, opened a drink
     Talked with each other
     Made spaghetti
     Watched "American Pickers"
     Washed dishes
     Practiced my Spanish (past tense now?!?!)
     Wrote this list

My emotions and I were on a wild ride today. I'm learning to recognize them for what they are, know that this loopy ride today won't come again for some time (if it sticks to the pattern), and get through it how I can. Shout out to John Krasinski for #SomeGoodNews - you helped me settle back down today.

Days 50 & 51 - Message from Taft

Saturday and Sunday, May 2-3, 2020

Hubby and I took a drive to Oregon, IL, to Lowden Miller State Park on Saturday. It's adjacent to the Lorado Taft Campus that I normally go to next week with seventh graders for an overnight outdoor education experience.

Our morning announcements for the school next week will include FlipGrid challenges for the kids. So... I took one one for myself - to climb 203 stairs.

Here's the video I made for our morning announcements:

(By the way, at the end, I'm not saying "stupid house." I'm saying "stoop at your house." We've got a ranch, so I could only use the stoop if I was looking for a stair.)

I hope I got a good message across!

When we got home, we were wiped and it was decided we had "too much sun." It was actually allergies. Oh, well. That's fine by me.

More photos from this visit:

This is a new development on one of the paths!

I've never seen the gate to Taft closed...

It was a beautiful day (before the cold rain came the next day).

Day 49 - Stories

Friday, April May 1, 2020

Nope. I'm not the teacher you've seen on social media trying to teach a student a math lesson through the student's window.

Nope. I'm not the elementary teacher who has a zoom meeting every day with her 25-30 students who can't hear each other over everyone's voices.

Nope. I'm not the art teacher sharing all the beautiful home art students are sharing on Seesaw.

I don't live near my students.

I don't have only 30 students.

I don't use Seesaw and can't ask students to try a new tool now.

This is what I CAN do...

I can let students and parents know we'll be meeting via Zoom days prior.

I can set up a safe Zoom meeting and find emails and invite students who responded to my invite 10 minutes prior.

And wait. With a smile on.

And afterwards, I can cry.

When only one shows up for one meeting and four for another, I make some connections I've been longing for. I put on my happy face and share in their feelings as they answer (what are supposed to be "engaging") questions. I act as if "we've got this!" I was able to hear a few stories shared.

Then I go for a long walk in the sun (thank goodness for the sunshine today).

I'm assigning about 30 minutes (maybe!) of work they don't need help with - two days a week. Of course they can read or write more if they'd like. They don't have questions about the lessons, because we're sharing them in videos and slides with examples. They just seem to want to see each other. And I want to see them.

My mantra today was, "I'm doing what I can. I'm following the advice and suggestions of other educators." Actually saying this aloud while in the sun helped me quite a bit. Soon a coworker teacher friend of mine will call, and we'll share our stories from today. I'm so grateful for our friendship and for someone who knows exactly what I'm going through.

Day 48 - "Get to"

Thursday, April 30, 2020

You HAVE TO do certain things...
You WANT TO do certain things...

What did you GET TO do today?

I got to... 

• go for a walk
• see the flooding of the Salt Creek
• see three egrets, a big blue heron, purple martins, barn swallows, a red-winged blackbird
• show gratitude
• see my Peace Lily come back to life
• go grocery shopping for us and my parents
• meet with my team
• see the sun come out this afternoon
• visit my parents
• surprise my parents with strawberries
• make a tree face
• make lots of cards for Senior graduates
• listen to an audio book
• make plans to visit a state park this weekend
• talk with friends
• make a video for one of my students
• enjoy jokes sent by mom
• create questions so I can host May's #geniushour chat
• count the cars on A.H. Road (my five minute fix)
• have Hawaiian rolls with Land O' Lakes butter
• wash dishes with my husband
• have great laughs with my sister regarding the "contactless" birthday party she's hosting for her kids and husband Monday

Perspective.


Scenes from today:

• My plant is alive again! (We re-potted it last night. It was soooo droopy!)
• They don't have graduation cards at Meier. They still have Easter and St. Patrick's Day cards.
• The blue heron seen on our walk...
• The first discarded mask I've seen.

  

   

   

Day 47 - Under 60%

I now provide lessons on Wednesdays and Fridays in this seventh week of quarantine.

For the last two Fridays, the days where we have three choices for our article of the week and no comprehension questions, I've gotten proof of 90% and 85% student participation.

For the last two Wednesdays, the days I think are the most intriguing lessons, the days with the video attached of me and Mrs. Field and Mr. Stott talking to students, I've gotten proof of 54% and 57% student participation.

Last Wednesday and this Wednesday and future Wednesdays will be focused on Genius Hour / Passion Projects / Independent Inquiry. THIS is where my passion lies. THIS is where I think the students will benefit the most. THIS is where we (students and teachers alike) will be challenged, have to adapt, and will feel failures and successes. I am having a difficult time seeing less than 60% engagement. I'll check today, tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday into next week to see who shared somehow that they thought of the work of brainstorming for their project today. I'll keep looking and keep providing feedback on their document.

It's not that I want them to want to do the work - it used to be that way, I suppose. I have tried to make the work relevant to what they'll need in the future, and I've tried to share with them our reasons for the work... I used to get more engagement than I'm getting now, obviously. What I realized today is that I want them to want to be in our class.

And maybe they do.

Day 46 - Kick in the Pants

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

I had a rhythm going today.

I woke up early, got ready early, was ready for our staff meeting, went out on the front porch rocking chair for the meeting (and was able to see the dew disappear, and two threads of silk from a spider), heard the goldfinches, made a couple more cards for the seniors.......

It's this - this new project - that was my kick in the pants. We're in week seven of this quarantine. It's time for me to get my act together. I was all ready to go the first two weeks, and then motivation ran dry quickly. All the changes in how we were supposed to teach really boggled my mind and hit my body something fierce.

Then we began talking about genius hour. My coworkers were on board, and we were excited about it. I created my heartbreak map, and I brainstormed what I could do for others, what I could do for myself,  what I would like to learn, what I would like to improve, and what I would do "if I had the time." I figured out my project. And I've already begun. I'm making cards for each Senior I had in ELA class or in homeroom.

I got to counting and cutting the paper. Folding. Deciding on the design. Getting started with five prototypes. Copying the "2020" for the front on the window pane...

I did a whole bunch yesterday, finalizing my idea. I felt like I had a purpose again. To really put me over the edge, a former student (now a Senior), sent me a graduation invite (only happening virtually) and a personal letter. I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to smile. I smiled and read it aloud to Bob. I called my mom and read it to her. I now feel like I have more of a purpose.

Today I did more of the non-thinking work (cutting, folding, tracing).
I am excited about my project.
I'm excited about it because it's what really fits me.

Brainstorming for Genius Hour is the toughest part for many children. It's always been tough for me, too. I have more to learn about brainstorming. I seem to pick projects that don't last two weeks. Not this time. This feels right. Although it will take some time, I can do it.

Of course I'll be documenting the process on my blog for my projects...

Day 45 - SEL

Monday, April 28, 2020

Mondays are reserved for SEL (social-emotional learning) these days. This is our second week of it, and I'm taking advantage of it today.

What I did for myself today:

• Went on a walk after "team time" (virtual meeting)
• Practiced a TikTok dance (part of a weekly challenge)
• Played games on my phone
• Read a chapter
• Listened to part of an audio book
• Brainstormed questions for the next #geniushour chat (I'm hosting in May)
• Chatted on the phone with Mom and a friend
• Studied the tulips coming in our front yard
• Cleaned up a bit
• Picked dandelions with Hubby
• Planned a teeny bit for the week
• Tried to curl my hair
• Didn't write on this blog

Days 43 & 44 - Creating

Saturday and Sunday, April 25 & 26, 2020

Since my perspective has been altered and I'm constantly thinking of our healthcare workers who can NOT see their families, I've felt that this blog is so... unimportant. If you're reading this blog, you've seen the change from teacher-related posts to COVID-19 posts. I have to remind myself often that this is simply documentation of what this one privileged person is going through during these past six weeks...

I actually had fun this weekend.

First, on Friday (sure, we can consider that part of this weekend), a friend and I shared our "weekly challenges." She asked me last week if I'd like to try, and I was game - because she said we'd have to agree on it in order to do it. I agreed to three "minute-to-win-it" games, and my challenge was a photography challenge.

Since I'm not posting the videos of our "minute-to-win-it" challenges, I thought I'd post my photography challenge. We had to find ten different colors on walks, and then put them together.

From left to right: a hanger found in a parking lot, coral-colored tulips, a fire hydrant, a fox (in someone's lawn - my favorite photo), forsythias, dandelions, a tulip leaf, grass, water shut-off cap, and then three different flowers.

Friday we shared, and then we came up with two new challenges for this next week. My friend and her daughter challenged us to learn a dance, and I challenged us to make a face for a tree. What's beautiful about these challenges is that we have no idea how they'll turn out, and it's okay. We don't need to know! I'm a competitive person normally, but in the last six weeks, I've been able to let that go. I'm so glad - it's much more fun when it's not competitive!

I've also been trying to create watercolor flowers. I've made a couple of cards to send out, and added the flowers. Each card is different, and I'm trying different techniques. I'm glad I have some blank cards here!

I'm glad I'm finally creating.

On Saturday morning, Hubby and I delivered thirteen (?) yard signs for staff members at our school. It felt good to do something for someone else! It took us a good two and a half hours, and we got to see some of the recipients. I am very privileged to work where I do. I'm very proud of how our district is feeding the children, as well. Each Wednesday, they provide a week's worth of food for any children in the district who need it. THAT is to be commended.

We went shopping for Mom and Dad on Sunday and then sat in their back yard talking with them for an hour or two. Mom said it makes her day when we stop by. Our discussions aren't riveting, because there's not much new to say, but it's simply nice to connect.

There are green ribbons suddenly on the trees around our village. They signify our support for essential workers.

Day 42 - Zoom

Friday April 24, 2020

I finally saw some students today via Zoom.

I was nervous as all heck, and yet knew it would only be about four (turned out to be nine) students. I had my co-teacher there with me, and she helped with some of the awkward pauses. I'm glad we met! It was good to see smiles and frowns, and confusion, and pets, and... I was finally able to get some genuine real-time feedback from my students.

Ahhh...

Zoom and Google have been used a ton recently - thank goodness for the use of this technology and for the Internet. That being said, it's exhausting! I read this article yesterday, and it's so true.

We ended the conversation with sharing what we're looking forward to this coming weekend. Believe it or not, it IS the weekend coming up.

And, of course, I saw this meme:

And I'm okay with goofy hair on the Zoom... maybe that will be our fun share with the next class!

Day 41 - Lost

Thursday, April 23, 2020

I'm lost. I was told how we'll be "grading" students, and now I feel as if I'm in some weird vortex sucking me down. I don't even know if I agree with it or not - it's just as if I'm in some weird show. It won't turn off.

I'll resurface, again.

I'll go at it with a vengeance, again.

Just not tonight.

Day 40 - A Slice of Student Life

I started this post a year or more ago... I'm coming back to it because right now my students have the following issues...

• One child's dad is overseas and they can't always Zoom or Skype or... and he is dearly missed.
• One child's mother has the coronavirus right now.
• One child's grandfather died last week.
• One child is living with Grandma, and we don't know what that living situation is like.
• One child is living with grandparents because their mother works at a hospital.
• One child is stuck in another state because they left for spring break and haven't yet been able to come back.

Add those issues to some issues my middle school students I've known throughout the years have had...

• One child has been hospitalized for being dangerous to themselves.
• One child is not sure about their gender.
• One child's sibling took their own life.
• One child found out they were autistic.
• One child who shares that they are autistic doesn't receive support in social skills.
• One child's parents went through a nasty divorce.
• One child's parents need to give most of their attention to the younger sibling for various reasons.
• One child, his mother, and his sibling... moved farther away from their father this school year.
• One child spends five or more hours a night playing video games.
• One child spends three hours a night at swim practice.
• One child has a mom who doesn't believe the teachers.
• One child does not get along with his new step-dad.
• One child will be moving in a month.
• One child found her birth mother passed away when she went to visit.
• One child has an older sibling who tries different drugs when there is unstructured time.

And how do I respond when one child hasn't done ANY work for my class? How many emails do I send? How much do I "pester" that child and/or the parents? What is my duty? What is "too much" or "too little?" Which parents are home with their children and which are not? How can I find the right way when there is no feedback from the child or the parents? I am not cut out for this.

Day 39 - Pause

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

I went to school today. First I emailed the custodial staff and administrators like we're supposed to. I thought I would cry on my way there, I thought I'd cry on the way home. Instead, it was just... surreal.

A friend told me it would be like things were frozen in time. It was. It was like someone hit the "pause" button the weekend after March 13. However... someone also must've been in a time warp and cleaned everything. I think the room actually looked neater than how I left it.

I filled up a box with my school laptop (I'm privileged to have my own at home - it's been taking a beating, so I thought I'd use the school-issued one), the cardstock I bought (I'm making plans to make post cards... later post if I actually go through with it), Sharpies, a couple of portable white boards and markers, and lots of books I own but have never read.

I wondered for a bit about the students' binders in the room. How will the - or will they?? - get them back? Would they even want them? Do I save them and give them to their next year's ELA teachers? Does it matter??

Then I went home and agonized over our plans for the week. I also crossed things off my list, added new things to my list, contacted some students, and waited for contact from students. Even though it's not "my day to teach," I did make contact with two students. Of course, that contact was the highlight of my day!

Day 38 - Heartbreak Maps

Monday, April 20, 2020

We're asking students to create heartbreak maps this week, so here is mine at this point in my life (meaning I wouldn't have these heartbreaks if it weren't for the pandemic)...

What I love... what I'm caring about at this moment...

• Family
• Students
• Health
• Seniors (in high school and college)
• Healthcare Workers
• Technology

And what breaks my heart about them...

• Family - no hugs; nephew has a bike that's too small, but he wants to ride; they're all hoping for this to end and have no idea when it will; worry of them getting sick and me not being able to hug them because they don't live with me...
• Students - no sports; no in-person friend time; Spring play canceled; no clubs; not knowing and hoping for this to end...
• Health - we need to stay IN; constantly washing hands; wearing masks to the grocery store; worry and fear; many people are without a job due to the constraints; many people are in HUGE lines for food; the politics of this thing are making people angry with each other...
• Seniors (in high school and college) - missing out on graduation, prom, sports, musicals, clubs, etc...
• Healthcare Workers - work long hours; can't be with their family
• Technology - students around the world without the Internet; many family members have to share their devices; who's got access and how is this equitable...

These are all worries, I know. Next step? What am I going to DO about it??

More resources for Heartbreak Maps -
     Learning to Give
     Aaron Maurer